CLARICE :D

2010-01-30T19:35:00.000+08:00

I AM NOT USING THIS ANYMORE. THE REASON FOR KEEPING IT IS FOR THE MEMORIES+PICTURES :)))

2009-11-29T23:56:00.002+08:00

i'm going to fly off to south africa soon and i really can't wait. my mum said she's gonna get me a coach handbag, and i'm really still wondering what's up with her sudden act of giving. i spent the entire night near the kallang river. i'm shifting there on the 20th. the entire street of tanjong ruhr has many condominiums and really, it was a very huge project. there was this condo that i particularly admire. the apartments are facing the river directly(which means non-stop breeze), and they cost at least 2 million. i bet i'll leave the house every time i get the chance to. it's just a minutes walk from the SG indoor stadium, in which i don't have to waste time with all that travelling ! i hope i'm able to get a siberian husky the following year. it would be nice to take your dog on a walk and not treat it as a tedious routine. what a lovely thought. the inside of the condo really is pretty as well. they have 3 pools and 2 jacuzzi's :))) (plus a water slide). tennis would be a regular sport from that day onwards ! ooooo, it really is going to be FUNNNN :) the food is going to be good as well ! the only thing missing from my perfect life is a perfect school.

i've got a million and one things to look forward to the next year. the plane tickets are all booked out, i guess we'll be driving to penang; the first time in 5-6 years. since i've alrd met my 19 year old cousin, i think i'll be visiting him :))) okay, that's the only thing i'm looking forward to, other than meeting my aunt and etc, of course.

i haven't been pampering myself AT ALL. girls are meant to treat their skin and body with the most delicate of touches and with the best products to gussy up. doesn't that feel like a princess with a sparkling tiara, a little pink dress with silhouttes and a pair of bright red shoes ? i'm getting fatter and fatter by the day. that theory that i once lived in, the one where no matter how much i consume, i'll still remain petite as ever ? well, it's not true anymore, to my disbelief. my hair is always unkempt and my nails are long. pimples are all bursting like god knows what, and i really am unhappy about all those frightful facts. ugh, i feel disgusted even by the thought of it. i have one day tmr to get everything done, that includes facials, SPA treatments, manicure, eyebrow shaping and lots of sun tan lotion !

i've been singing, 'diamonds are a girls' best friend' repeatedly day and night. okay, not exactly the definition of what many might call sane, but it really is a nice song. i kinda picked it up from watching moulin rouge 3 times. i loooovvveee nicole kidman. that certainly is a statement of randomness. anyway, i went shopping for the trip with my family members, and my mum chanced upon this Omega watch which really is pretty. it costed around $35 000 ? it's made of rose gold, silver, mother of pearl and a 1.5 carat diamond all around the watch. my dad was not contented as he had to watch my mum get something expensive while he didn't manage to find anything he wanted. sooo, he started on his own shopping spree. this is the extent of how petty adults get too ! (i always thought they were practical people) talking about practical, today was the first time my mum said that i was practical. all the other times, she would be just like, 'stop buying things that u'll only wear once !' well, i guess i've to start putting on a very frugal and simple type of lifestyle.

i've realised that my nights are getting longer and my mornings are getting shorter. isn't it nice when u wake up in the early hours of the morning, way before the sun has even come out ? i love mornings bc i get to smell and see everything for that brief moment before i've to wait for another 20 hours to witness it all again. the soft breeze against your cheeck, that early morning chill and the smell of trees that u never thought would smell that good. i love to breathe it in and let it flow thorugh your soul and allow it to awaken every molecule worth awakening in you. i love it when u get to watch the sun rise from it's almost eternal slumber. i love how everything looks as if it's glowing bc the soft morning sun throws this sheer blanket of gold over everything else. i love to see the early presence of morning dew appearing on a single petal of flower, the way it slides down so effortlessly. it's different from watching it on a movie screen or on a video camera. u get ot see it with your very own eyes in slow motion. and yet, some people condemn mother nature when they have yet to see how much it offers. it has beauty, elegance and sophistication.

"There’s a thin line. Definitely, the entire hype about Lambert’s performance does have backing to it. Openly gay people would not approve of a performance like that. It’s things like these which you shove into people’s faces that will start that negativity towards homosexuality in the first place."- well, it certainly is difficult to mould everybody's perception in this current generation. there are bound to be people who would continue to hate such proposterous behaviour, which is an insult and a disgrace to human nature.

2009-11-21T00:10:00.002+08:00

went out with isabel that day and we walked real far and only ended up with a few stuff. i didn't know shopping was so troublesome. but anyway, i was on the brink of giving up on finding the dress until i walked into zara. there was leather stuff everywhere and seriously, i felt as if i walked into paradise(temp.). tried fitting into this dress and it turned out baaaadddd. when people say they can't fit in, it usually means they're too big sized for the dress. for my scenerio, i turned out to be too petite* i would like to call it. they said i'd to go all the way to tiong bahru to have that dress altered. it was really my size and the length is perfect and all. urrgghh, if i could name one heartache, it would be this ! this is like the first time i can't fit into the smallest size available. arrgggh, screw it. due to that, i'm not going to attend prom and instead, i'm going to spend the $$ on a new android phone <3

sleep tight, good night and sweet dreams people.

2009-11-14T15:29:00.002+08:00

urrggh, i'm missing shawn right now ): u sound very different you know. anyway, he got admitted into SAJC through DSA. we made a promise that we're gonna end up in that JC together :) hope i can keep to that. anyway, call me ! :)))

i dyed my hair :)) and yea, i love it. but my hair is no longer thick ): next time, i'm not gonna ask them to lessen the hair anymore !

2009-11-11T23:07:00.002+08:00

happy belated belated b'day my dear :)) i'm really sorry that it took like 5 months for me to get around celebrating it with you. anw, hope u were touched by my sincerity. gosh ! i took like hours to make that !? ate at a place which i don't even know but the food was great ! (laughs). overall it was great. this girl (CLAIRE) thought that it was _____ calling, so she decided not to pick up my unknown number. due to that, we had to cancel our outing today ): next time's gonna be 10 times better.

FYI: i'm pressurizing you to do better than what i did for you :)))

2009-11-10T19:58:00.002+08:00

OMG ! i found a really pretty hair colour :)) and i'm gonna dye the entire hair on the 13th !!!! okay, this is really going to FUN FUN FUN ! :)))))))))

Madison Square, NYC

2009-11-07T13:24:00.001+08:00

Madison Square, NYC
Originally uploaded by So Cal Metro

2009-11-07T13:18:00.002+08:00

alright, i finally have a place to stay. but unfortunately, we can only live there in one and a half years time due to the house being tenanted. this is absolutely disappointing. that place is technically a paradise of unheavenly people(wonder what that means.) so, this is the first time we're renting a place to stay, and we've to shift out by christmas ): oh well, at the very least, i have south africa to look forward to ! hee hee.

2009-11-06T23:15:00.002+08:00

i've had many friends who say that they only tasted the true meaning of life at the age of 21. maybe i might even start to believe in that now. my father said that the moment i reach 21, i can have everything my way. and i mean everything. 21 does have a more significant meaning than just being a number.

one day, i'll no longer have to look at those pictures that i envy. i'll be creating shots and moments that others will envy.

"we're gonna stay twenty-one forever,

so we could stay like this forever,
and we'd never miss a party
cos we'd keep them going constantly.

and we'll never have to listen,
to anyone about anything,
cos it's all been done and it's all been said.
we're the coolest kids and we take what we can get."

2009-10-28T20:12:00.002+08:00

" If you've ever had one of those times when you've clutched a pen or something else in your hand for a long time, only to look down and be surprised that you are still holding it long after your need for it had passed, you'll understand sometimes we get so used to holding that we forget to let go. "

2009-10-20T14:02:00.002+08:00

i miss you already even though it's only been a few hours since i heard your voice ):

the afternoon is very dull and boring ):

i hate studying as it's very uneventful ):

i'm not even done with my humanity subjects and i'm here typing all my complaints ):

i'm sad that i've to snip off my long finger nails on the day before O levels ):

if u did realise, every sentence has a '):' at the end. that proves to show what an unhappy kid i am ):

daddy said he'll get me my camera and more if i pass through this phase of my life with bright colours :) oh yea, that's the only thing i'm looking forward to.

2009-09-27T20:39:00.002+08:00

life is stressful. i feel like everything is coming down. pressure pressure and some more pressure. when will it all end ? i feel like i'm just moping around the house finding some sort of inspiration to motivate me to do something. or maybe even something fascinating to happen, but of course, i'll just be told to continue dreaming.

i have not yet found a reason or meaning to carry on with what i am suppose to be currently doing(studying). i haven't gotten much sleep lately either. that could be a possible cause for the multiple pimples that has been sprouting. ugly ugly ugly. so, i HAD to seek out a 'cure' for this poor face of mine. middle of the night; 11+, i asked my dad to text my aunt who lives in malaysia to ask her how does she keep her face in such a good condition. not to mention flawlessly fair and no blotches as well. dang, how much i envy her. method of hers- lots and lots of sunblock.

i have been homeless for a few days now, BUT, my parents has finally found a place to stay in. it's somewhere in bradell(?), central of Singapore i think. that place is freaking amazing. it has 3 levels, a koi pond, backyard, balcony for every bedroom and also i get to rear a dog ! i absolutely can't wait to shift. i know it's no where near the east, but still, i'm pretty contented :)

i've been watching the entire season of project runway yesterday for 10 hours straight. sigh sigh sigh, what damage have i done to my eyes this time(?). i love project runway and i doubt i'll ever get sick of it. after O's, i'm going to watch every single season of CSI: MIAMI. i'm having huge concerns about my hair lately. the only thing i'm satisfied about it is that it's black. i'll start giving more thought about it after O's.

"i spent the night waste in sighs. your lips, your eyes. how much i regret to say goodbye"

2009-09-19T23:52:00.003+08:00

hohoho :) my uncle came over to have dinner with us today. best part, i get to talk to my aunt on the phone too ! sometimes i think i talk too much, i know my aunt thinks so too /:

i love writing and typing, some sort of outlet i suppose. earlier on, de shun asked me to check out his new blog. some topics he talked about; pokemon, history text books, blah blah. to him, it was suppose to be entertaining ? came across as amusing to me :) however, i have to admit, it was peculiarly entertaining.

'i forgot to add before dad took the phone away from me, that i know about your bad perm ! it shall be my next new thing to laugh at :) and i don't know what u're reffering to just now on the phone(NOT CONVENIENT TO TALK ABOUT SUCH STUFF). u caused me to get embarrassed infront of 3 adults just now ! u owe me BIGGGG TIMMMEEE. will see u during chinese new year(dad has not booked the flight yet) i shall be more careful in typing now, since i now u check in pretty regularly !!! anyway, wish me luck for my O levels.' - aunty mei.

and btw, i am very proud that u did well. trust me. it's just that i don't know how to express myself in the approapriate way. i know that u find it hard as well, so please try to understand. but really, i am extremely happy.

good night, i need sleep NOW !

2009-09-17T18:04:00.004+08:00

i can swear that the abs, the hair and the face fits the bill perfectly fine.

damn, i still feel nauseous /: and i'm still in a dilemma regarding my hair.

and great, i just got super bad news through my phone call to isabel. turns out that she's not going for tuition ): i'm skipping it :))

i'm so happy that the pair aren't giving up and are so so willing to hold on that bit longer just for each other. that's admirable, i swear ! that has courage, wisdom, loyalty and strength written all over it. so glad that it didn't turn out like the situation i got into. if you were that bit more persistent in what you want, i can tell you, that we'll make miracles happen.

"they say i deserve the best/better, but if the best isn't you, then i don't want it"

2009-09-15T20:02:00.001+08:00

Tumblr ! <3

HOOKED ON TO PHOTOGRAPHS.

2009-09-14T19:39:00.003+08:00

it was a dark dark lonely night, his face gleamed white and sharp in the moonlight. there was a huge hint of a curve in his thin nose. judging by the curvature of his chin and neck, he is defnitely my type of guy. his body angled in such way that exposes his lean body. 'mysterious, sexy, dashing', i thought to myself. my dressing for the night was definitely appropriate for an encounter with this man in handsome leather jacket. god god god, i thought to myself, should i brush shoulders with him and leave the street thinking what a lucky bitch i am ? or should i write my digits on a vanilla scented card and gently place it in his hand. of course, there is an ulterior motive, that is to be able to touch his maybe smooth but rigidly firm palms. with every inch nearer i got to him, the more i started to stumble on my footsteps, just like desperate moth in lamplight. finally, before i knew it, i was already standing right beside him. he gave a slightly crooked smile- my stomach fluttered, exposing his gleaming set of white teeth. a wink came next. i was much more intrigued and at the same time, appreciatively enjoying this love seeking game that we started unknowingly. of course, there were no words involved, it was just a silent affair-

2009-09-12T15:21:00.002+08:00

there's only one thing on my mind right now; shopping. the moment O levels are over, i swear i'm catching the first flight to KL :))

i made a friend who's staying in france. surprisingly, her command of english is quite good for a french. i wish i knew how to speak french so it'll be easier for us to communicate. i can't believe i'm even considering making a trip down there for the second time.

another group of people came by to view the house, and i can't help but to snort in disgust. they walked out the second they came in, just because the design of the house wasn't to their liking. ASSHOLES !!!

i'll make things better when the year ends(i hope she'll budge).

2009-09-11T12:28:00.002+08:00

it's another 40 plus plus days before the end of misery(thank god for that).

i'm so in a twit.

on first thoughts, i just wanted photography, but on second thoughts, i think i'll settle for drums and photography.

so many things to do but with so little time, i THINK i understand the phrase, 'learning takes place your whole life' now.

i hate the phrase 'knowledge is power', don't bother to ask why.

i can't believe i went to school just for an hour yesterday and today !!!

shu xin's laughter became excessively louder than usual(weird).

started reading another book by agatha christie. i never did knew her first book was published in 1920. no wonder the book is written in old english & french.

i'm debating in my head on whether to get my hair permed or just leave it the way it is.

i just realised also that FHM stood for 'for him magazine' !

i absolutely love the words vexatious and mademoiselle.

oh oh ! and the word manservant too(i know it sounds queer).

i just realised something while talking to G. everything makes so much sense now :))

and sweetheart, the poleroids are under my pillow; wishing that u'll somehow appear in one of my dreams-

2009-09-09T23:17:00.003+08:00

urrgghh, i hope the pictures aren't exposed too much.

it's 9/9/09

thought of taking photos since it's so called an auspicious day. (i sound sentimental)

good girls go bad.

2009-09-06T18:55:00.002+08:00

went for the hawker fair today, and daddy bought a mercedes benz as a new car. the suede brown interior is gorgeous. one day, i swear i'm getting the lamborghini.

i hope i can watch vampire diaries on the net and not pay to watch through mio tv /:

AND OH MY GOD ! I'D NO IDEA THAT LUCAS TILL IS ONLY 3 YEARS OLDER THAN ME !? SUHWEET ! THAT GUY IS A SERIOUS HEART THROB, AND HE HAS THE MOST HEART WRENCHING SMILE EVER.

OH YEA, DID I MENTION THAT I LOVE THE NAME LEIGHTON AS WELL ? OTHER THAN CARTER THAT IS :)))

2009-09-04T20:34:00.002+08:00

sweeter than heaven, hotter than hell.

2009-09-01T17:25:00.003+08:00

it's the time of the day again; evening.

it makes you think of sun dried leaves,

the sky painted crimson and gold,

and a walk in the park with the camera man behind sneaking a few shots here and there.

a familiar structure stood in the distance.

yes, it was old, plain and dull coloured.

you swaggered a little here and there, with that old weathered stick in your hand.

by the time u reached the once familiar doorstep,

the heart was already filled with overpowering emotions that could not be contained.

the reason is because, you're finally home.

you look at that dishevelled piece of work.

on closer inspection, you realise that it's you yourself, staring into the mirror.

u've gone on such a long and taxing journey of discovery,

that u come home disbelievingly looking at a person whom u barely know.

it wasn't just the appearance, it was more than that, much more.

2009-08-26T19:13:00.002+08:00

so much has been done, that it can't be undone.

a saying;

nothing can be more powerful than love.

definitely touche.

love, the first and last reason i keep on living.

it brings a task and purpose.

it brings the best and the worst out of me.

it brings the heart to beat fast and slow simultaneously.

it brings your senses to a halt and numbs it inside out.

it leads people to the brim of suicide.

with that amount of power, how can we ever deny that it's not the most powerful thing ?

though u bring grief and heartache,

though u bring me to the edge of doubt on whether u are just a heartbreaker,

though u squeeze every tear worth squeezing out of me,

i can't complain much can i babe ?

this is an ethical example of why i continue to love you.

a power surge directed thought my heart.

2009-08-21T20:09:00.002+08:00

u took my hand and i walked side by side with you as we took a walk down memory lane.

2009-08-15T14:19:00.007+08:00

do u know that u're a total turn off ? one word was all it took to bring my wishes to a halt.

2009-08-13T23:12:00.003+08:00

it's the second time i'm blogging today. my father who's apparently in taiwan, almost died due to a land slide. it made me realize how fragile our lives are. killing off one person might not add to an instant decrease in human population, but it does the heart torture that is unbearable ! i miss daddy big time ): thank god he's still on earth.

I FINALLY DID IT ! i absolutely can't contain this excitement, perhaps i'll attempt to jump on my bed(?). i shall be a lil patient before telling claire about this tomorrow :) i took a facebook quiz and apparently, my next boyfriend/husband is going to be named carter. okay, u've no idea how much i LOVE LOVE LOVE that name. the name langdon sounds awful ): that's SO not the point !

walking past you was total eye candy, i must admit.

2009-08-13T17:42:00.001+08:00

my english teacher had us do a compo on, 'my first experience of sorrow'. this was the conversation that took place. this is certainly impromtu as i've got no idea why i'm wirtting the convo down.

ernest: so, who died ?
deshun: no one died !
ernest: it's not called sorrow if no one died. see, in my compo, my dog died, in clifton's compo, his cat died, in shuxin's compo, her hamster died.
clifton: what am i suppose to write next !? 'my cat got run over by a truck and it died ??'
me: a cat has nine lives u know ? so...
ernest: so ! i waited down there while 8 cars run over my cat, and i'm counting as each car go by. '1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.' THERE ! it's finally dead.

this is dumb.
and i am THIS bored !

from the show 'punchline':
'i don't care how many thousands they spend on their hair ! because they're DEBUTANTS'
'i don't care how many men they divorce ! that's because they're DEBUTANTS'
'i don't care how they starve themselves to death and waste their youth away just as so to appear thin on the screen ! that's because they're DEBUTANTS !'
'i don't hate anybody !'
'in fact, i'm more of a hate stylist if u will, thank you'
TOM HANKS

i bet what i wrote above doesn't make much sense. BUT ! it was hilarious. it's standup comedy.

i managed to name everyone of my softtoys succesfully without forgetting any of their names. i know it's weird. so, shut up !

2009-08-12T16:23:00.001+08:00

i was outside minding my own business, half mindedly thinking of something to happen, and it did happen. he asked for the time, date and venue. the first word he shouted was 'babe'. it struck me that this so called charming young man could be a hooker/asshole. oh damn, he look gorgeous ! what dumbstruck luck i must have.

i went up that flight of slated stairs, in hope to find the things that once mattered the most. i could almost pass as a comber, if not for that uniform that i was wearing. i searched the black waste bag and saw a glint on it's reflected surface; the photo. it was lying in the exact same place i last placed it. dirt, mud and dried leafs covered it. it was also startling to also have found the gift that i gave you during christmas lying by the ferns. by bringing those things back home, it's the same as bringing back the painful memories that i once condemned. the smell of soap and body sweat still lingers on the string. a strange attraction towards the scent happened to befall on me yesterday. it indeed is puzzling for the most complex brain to understand.

i certainly want that long, thick and curly hair u dreamt about.

2009-08-02T15:36:00.011+08:00

finally had the time to upload the pictures onto blogger :)

i still don't exactly know how to describe my week, but i know life has been good.

great, now i sound like an advertiser advertising for LG /:

the composition i recently did was titled, 'love is blind'. it was the most satisfied piece of work that i've done, and it felt good :)) it sounded like a short story and somehow felt like a long one at the same time.

there was a book that i read today and it was filled with x-rated stuff. i was amazed at the meg cabot's flare for writting. though the book was filled with detailed description of sex, there was something that didn't make it an upset for its readers(such as myself) :)

i don't want to keep this under wraps anymore. if it's good news, why not share it with the world ? :)

'one woman's mortage payment was another man's porn' -quoted.

2009-07-28T20:11:00.002+08:00

kill this feeling in me.

the first glance made my heart beat,

consecutive glances made it wilder than ever.

it's a shortgun fire directed at my heart.

by the look that u gave me,

i know, then and there that i will never regret going.

goodbye, my black night.

even if it takes 7 years,

that day will come.

2009-07-20T16:00:00.002+08:00

"and it doesn't seem to matter,

and it doesn't seem right,

'cause the will has brought

no fortune.

still i cry alone at night,

don't you judge of my composure,

'cause i'm lying to myself.

and the reason why she left me,

did she find someone else ?"

writing suddenly became a joy to me after seeing what wonderful essays u can write on random words such as; love, cows, books. i barely even feel jaded after god knows how many years of writing essays.

it's kind of freaky that all the tracks i'm listening to now are solely MJ's songs. i'm feeling a little apprehensive about my mental health now. others just doesn't seem to hit up to my expectations of 'good music', as so my theory states. i guess it's good news for him if he's up there knowing that all the little people living on earth are listening to his songs excessively now(not that there wasn't previously). dying doesn't seem like such a bad thing after all.

i had always hated school on mondays due to monday blues. however, the blues seemed to have gotten rid of itself after the new change in timetable, which is indeed very shocking.

i absolutely, incorrigibly hate source based questions. it feels like you're squeezing out all the brain juice after having already squeezed them to the max for good quality work for the other subjects during the day. having to think so much just for a simple opening sentence (?), horrible !

the skin on my fingertips are 1. peeling, 2. growing back, 3. hardening, and it goes back to (1) again. i can hardly feel my fingertips, they're numb to the slightest touch. if this is the sacrifice that has to be made for the love of playing, hmm, i guess i can consider about not quitting the daily routine of practice. besides, it's not that bad right ? well, of course excluding the fact of what a horrible time my next boyfriend is going to have by having dead skin touching the back of his hand if i were to convulsively clutch it. it's irksome just by the thought of it.

skipping two days of school next week is definitely a bonus for having relatives who live off the coast of singapore. i hope the next few days in singapore will be spent productively. that brother of mine isn't going, which means i have the entire backseat of the car to myself. that also means that they'll be place for a big teddy bear as company since there won't be any provided to me along the 4 hour ride(?) by the way, that big bear is named tristan junior, limited editioned-ly named after the person who bought it for me. i bet it's going to be a hell long ride, especially since i'm going to start firing the conventional, 'are we there yet !?' question. the house that i'm staying at has cardboard boxes that are stacked all the way up to the top of the ceiling, half eaten doors, cobwebs stretching from one end to the other, creaking staircase steps and creaking sounds at the hinges of the door. well, it does sound like a haunted house. however, this intro proves otherwise. it's a home for termites, to be short. i must remember to bring a bottle of insect spray. no one now is of any position to be intrigued of knowing more is there ?

i think it's a desirable length for reading, so i guess i should probably stop at around now. i swear the trip is going to be a day in hell for the two people sitting at the front seat of the car. the emotion on their usually expressionless face is sure to show it all. i'm going to say hello to the peeling skin process again.

good night and sleep tight you small earhtly hobbits.

2009-07-09T17:09:00.002+08:00

dang ! it's the second time i'm eating mcdonalds after, let's see, 2 MONTHS !? it's completely ridiculous and outrageous. the weekly pocket money just decreased by half in just an hr. the best part of this was that the full-of-fats chicken that was dangling in the air laid in the place it once came from; death bed. oil was leaking out like nobody's business and OMG, i swear i can never stomach it again.

SPA went extremely well, 'aleluia', praise the lord. how i wish i can be that lucky twice in a row. oh, i surely need a miracle tomorrow. should i borrow fairy magic, a wizard's wand or perhaps start kneeling down with two perfectly poised hands placed together ?

if i'd actually opened my mouth in my earlier part of youth and start blabbering english-chinese words, this episode wouldn't have been this scary. i'm screwed, so so screwed.

clifton: how's life, register no. 9 ?

clarice: well, excluding the fact that i'm screwed for chinese, all's well, register no. 10.

2009-07-08T19:25:00.009+08:00

i never knew that such structures could actually be captured by me. well, yea, it's blown out of proportion.

I FOUND MY CONFIRMATION SLIP !? gee, after this long, and i finally found it ? what a day. well, chinese o level orals are on friday and i'm scared out of my wits ! even chanraj can speak much much more fluently as compared to myself. seriously, i should stop, it's only going to scare the shit out of me ! it's SPA skill 3 tmr and to be frank, i'm not even the least prepared. (fingers crossed)

i missed the memorial for MJ this morning ): it sucks, sucks and three times more sucky. i officially started on a new book in which i'm absolutely captivated by - not many books have my undivided attention u see. it can almost top 'the list'. life is indeed becoming more and more interesting.

the black hatred that i have for you has taken on almost as great a depth as my sixteen-year existence on this very earth that both u and i stand on. live on and perhaps u'll see a teeny weeny bit more than what is expected of you to.

2009-07-06T20:25:00.002+08:00

i feel like shit knowing that MJ died /: michael, michael, michael... what can i say ? well, a thousand and one words. he's the greatest person in the history of music. i don't care what he look likes, how he changes his face, his P actions, i would love him equally as much. i grew up listening to his songs which turn out to be great hits. the world's greatest performer, writer and dancer left us too early. he even created dance moves that are modified by modern day artists. his songs crossed the boundaries of religion, race and age. who's going to heal the world now ? every song he sings has a message to it. he certainly is a great man. he can never ever be duplicated. i can do no tribute, but at the very least, i will listen to every single one of his songs ! MJ, i love you.

the first week of school is extremely relaxing. there were at least 4 free periods every day ! i wish that could be the situation every day. i've to make clifton wait 15 mins almost every single time, and i feel awful about it /: well, thanks for being such a dear (: the new P.E. teacher certainly has a body figure that could make every cow go 'moo !' HAHA ! the point taken in is that she's hot :)

went to dempsey road to eat at jumbo. the prawns, jelly fish and crab there was awesome. (pricey !!) my dad's decided to lay of curry. it means no more sammy's for me.

it's youth day today. spent the entire day with isabel. it was FUN FUN FUN ! the ending of the show wasn't smth that i expected. but it was good enough. (i guess) taught her how to tie ribbons and it took LOOONNNG.

dinner calls- TOODLES (:

sending that msg made me feel good; because i know u deserve it. next time, get your facts right first.

2009-06-29T18:54:00.003+08:00

oh screw it. knowing that he's gotten another girl to admire really sucks big time ! now i'm starting to think if he held her hand while crossing the road. this is horrible ): jealousy is kicking in. AAHHHHHHH. i'm feeling crappy right now /: how i wished C never did tell me anything. really wanna punch in those numbers and start screaming. (that's impossible)

first day of school is especially dull. i wonder why (?) Wimi's b'day just passed and she got this big bottle of jelly beans as a present. happy belated b'day dear (: it was a joy to see claire again. and and, manu brought home her first boyfriend !! that's fab (: i'm honestly hoping to catch the transformers movie with charles this weekend. (fingers crossed). hope he's not busy with admission. i've FINALLY being able to know someone who has done free lance photographing. woo ! awesome, awesome, awesome. and another three times as awesome if i'll be able to do it.

i'm happy that it's still around your neck.

2009-06-26T19:07:00.002+08:00

i call it a whirlwind weekend.

i've frequently been visiting the video rental shop these few days. watched like god knows how many movies. is this just my method of killing off anguish ? just watched final destination + hitman today. loved the actor's bald head. i practically skipped the transformers movie and now there's a wasted ticket that i've to pay for !? hope they found a replacement in time.

yesterday was supposedly my last tuition. (up till the time when THEY find me worthy enough) oh screw it. i honestly can't be bothered by their frequent demands. i'm currently looking at how sweet this guy was at having valentine's day all planned out for his gf. he even had a delivery made at her doorstep !? (with voice recordings !)

THAT IS IT !!! I'M FUCKING GONNA MARRY MY NEXT BOYFRIEND.

I'M GONNA LEARN HOW TO PLAY THE GUITAR AND PERHAPS SERENADE FOR HIM !

I'M GONNA LEARN PHOTOGRAPHY, AND CAPTURE THAT VERY MOMENT WHICH MATTERS THE MOST !

IF NOT ! I'M SERIOUSLY GOING TO WAIL UNDER THE BLANKET TILL THE SUN RISES !

I WANT TO SAY THAT I HAVE A SIZZLING HOT BOYFRIEND, EVEN SO, IT WOULD LEAD TO NEVER ENDING INSECURITIES, BUT HEY ! IT'S A RISK THAT I'VE GOT TO TAKE !

AND THAT AIN'T GOOD...

I'M GONNA WAIT FOR THE ONE WHO WOULD KILL HIS PRIDE AND EGO JUST FOR ME.

BUT TILL THEN, IT'S MAKEOVER PERIOD. I'LL PROVE MYSELF WRONG.

I'M GONNA CHANGE BEFORE THAT GUY COMES ALONG, WITH THE VERY WORDS THAT I WANT TO HEAR.

THIS IS IT ! DANG !

all this is my fault. and it's time i took my life into my hands and clear up all this mess. i've locked up everything else, and i'm sure that i'll be able to live my life for a proper cause now.

as they always say, 'live life to it's fullest'

IT'S TIME.

2009-06-20T20:18:00.002+08:00

damn this feeling. the moment u have it, u lose it. the moment u want it, u don't want it anymore. what's up with me ? 'are u always this emotional'-(a question that was posted just for me). there's so much to life than just about one thing. well said, i know. but what the fuck am i suppose to do at this point ? all i've been doing are just mistakes- i just read a friend's blog and it turned out that his situation is exactly the same as mine, except for the fact that he's a guy and he's STILL in a relationship. and he's coping so well with it ! that's the part that gets me. perhaps it's just the age difference. whatever..

if getting dumped is hell, i think this is much more than hell. could someone help fast forward my life to another 2 more years ? the WORST part of it all, i've screwed up a friend ! is this retribution, or is it just me making the wrong decisions, as always ? i fucking wanna know.

oh boy, i hope time could just freeze.

2009-06-14T23:43:00.002+08:00

damn, i've to go to school tmr just to do filing ! hope there's smth exciting that's gonna be waiting for me in the later part of the day. congrats to baby for being chosen to be in the photoshoot (: extremely proud of u babe.
friday-
went out with clifton to watch 'drag me to hell'. susie backed out half-way /: the movie is bloody sucky. i didn't know that it could be rated so high with such a stupid ending(?). those critics ought to be sued ! tuition was actually suppose to be at 5pm which i mistook it to be 5.30pm. damn the short term memory. had dinner with shaun at pizza hut afterwards.
saturday-
baby went for camp that day. there was a display of fireworks near northpoint. perhaps it's the starting/ending of the arts festival. was out with shaun till late. gee, he's been an awesome friend (: had to wait for baby's call till 1 in the morning !? oh well.
sunday-(SOMETHING GOOD AT THE END OF EVERY WRONG TURN)
woo ! it's been a long long time since i went out with baby to town. so today was seriously refreshing. going to town was not even planned out in the itenary, but i'm glad that we still went. ate smth from a certain place whose food i've never tasted, and man does it taste good. i was this close to ask him to carry me after all the walking in the day (: spent a long long long time for him to try out clothes, but thank god ! he got smth in the end. godiva chocs was supposedly a celebration material, hee (with smiles). was thinking more of beer ? it was definitely a day to remember. things finally fell into place and the feeling feels good. i know for sure now that it's gonna go a long way. and i'm proud of myself for not losing hope. he still owes me another fruitful day ! (: after a long day, every girl deserves her beauty sleep. waiting for his 3am call to come in the mean time too- oh please make time fly (:

i love you babe.

2009-06-10T19:59:00.017+08:00

had an outing with susie yesterday :) was the first outing that i laughed so much !! walked for 7 hours and practically took an hr just to choose a pair of earings from a small collection ! had blisters everywhere and got VERY lost. gee. there's still a wooden splinter stuck in my skin(trying to get wooden chopsticks out of the plastic) /: we were laughing so loudly that everyone looked at us wherever we went ! there was this reporter at the esplanade who asked us to pose for a picture for newpaper and the picture was so so pretty. i think i should start buying newpaper from today onwards. hee. some guy took up 10 mins of our time advertising on a new pub at the esplanade and blah blah. basically, the ending was such that he was persuading us to buy an entry pass for the pub. what a sucker for wasted time. slept at 2, i guess it must have been the mocha's fault (:

i'm so so wanting to watch 'drag me to hell'. hope it'll be next week. charles's gonna ORD soon. last day of service today to be exact. dying to see the guy man !! a class outing to sentosa is coming soon. also, there's another outing to sentosa next week. should i be picky (?)

i'm driving my mind to exhaustion right now. i wonder sometimes whether i'm worth it in his eyes. if no, then why bother saying that u'll do anything, if i don't mean that much to u anyway.

2009-06-07T13:41:00.015+08:00

woo ! things happen just so fast ! and all i needed to do was to evaluate carefully. well, 5th of june was girlfriend's b'day !!! 30th of may was clifton's b'day !!! i haven't even gotten each of them a present yet. slept over at claire's house on wednesday. it was a 'tense-down' time. how much i love her, unimaginable.. watched late night movies (21,bedtime stories).

shopping was thursday-

warehouse, riverisland, topshop, dorothy perkins, city hall.
i can't imagine that smth such as recycled snake skin would actually catch my eye. damn, should have bought it. gf and i were basically giggling about a particular store assistant. it was fun (: jason and gary met up with us later on. completely no photos were taken- too busy caught with shopping fever i guess(?) tuition was later.
friday-
night time was cool. as in the weather. heh. F called, and we broke the record of talking for the longest time on the phone ! being able to see his other side was a refreshing start. tuition was awesome. the tutor kept commenting on how much she wanted to buy the exact same pair of earings as mine. so, the entire time was girl talk EVEN THOUGH there was a guy there.
east coast- (yesterday)
went to old town white coffee for dinner. the white coffee mocha there was great. i'll die to have another one right now. there was a sale for dresses outside and i've never seen such exquisite ones before, so, $$ started to fly again. started walking on the beach and the air there was breezy. can't believe i'm moving there soon. there were two white dogs who came my way and the owner allowed me to walk them. gee, i wish i had the exact same one. there was a live band playing at that time so ppl started dancing on the beach, including my parents. having someone ask me to dance was weirddddd, so, the only obvious thing to do was to turn down the offer. regretted later though /: a weird feeling overcame me when i was there. the feeling of being alive. after reaching home, we played monopoly till 1 am. the best time that i ever had with my family was this. talked to my brother till 4. i never expected that the only person who knows me the best turned out to be my brother. gee, i love him. and in the middle of the conversation, a very unexpected call came in. and i'm happy that he has taken a first step in clearing things out.

2009-05-31T16:18:00.002+08:00

he seems happy and he's still able to talk to others happily and freely as if nth even happened. i don't know whether he truly is happy without me. all i want to know is whether he really is. i barely slept for the past few days. staying up all night just thinking what i should really do. man, i miss him like crazy. i need someone to tell me what to do. it hurts. just so much. i don't even know whether he wants me back now or not. i will just have to wait and continue what i'm doing until he tells me. one day, i don't know if i would pass out because of a regular routine. i'm seriously genuine about all this, about the changes, i've alrd changed. all i need now are his words of care and concern. all this seems to be missing. a huge part of me seems to be gone when he went. what am i suppose to do ?

2009-05-31T08:46:00.002+08:00

i've been starving myself for two days now. only drinking tea and a few biscuits. crying endlessly. i stare at all the books laid out in front of me and all i could see are words that i barely understand. i'm seriously driving myself insane. if i'd known that somehow or another u wanted me back, i wouldn't have said so much. i don't know whether u added that 'please', just so to make me stop talking. right now, the very thing i'm certain with is that i can't live without him. i don't want to screw up like the way i usually do. only if i'd known. only if i'd known. o levels are tmr, barely done anything. i still want things to work, and i'll do whatever it takes to make it work.. he deleted me off everything. it seems as if he really wants me gone. i don't know what to do. i really don't. please.

i miss you dearly.

2009-05-30T09:17:00.005+08:00

i'm once again staring into the blank screen. not knowing what to do, not knowing what my life's gonna be in the future. all this can be pretty frustrating. all i know is that i really want things to work. i know that it'll be a perfect one if we gave it a shot. all i need now, are his words of confirmation. until now, i never knew the importance of having a family. it was a good experience. i won't screw things up the second time, because now i really know what went wrong. i'm not going to be a dummy again. right now, i'm fired up with determination. all i need now is your word and your trust. i mean all that i say. deep down, i know u want to give it another shot, but u're still messed up. don't give up baby. don't. we will make it..

looking at those pictures below, makes my heart beat rapidly. from that, i know that there's still hope. i hope yours does too.

the way she flirts with him seriously makes me sick. when i know who the hell she is, she's dead !

i love you; i miss you.

2009-05-24T10:25:00.005+08:00

i've been crying uncontrollably for two days now. i don't care how long it takes because i know that one day, things will fall into place. the amount of effort that i'm putting in now is going to be worth it. i'll change for the better. not only for u, but for me and everybody around me as well. please keep that love somewhere safe. i love you honey, now and always.

i woke up this morning feeling empty. astonishingly, the time was 7.30. the earliest that i've ever woken up. then, i started weeping again, in agony. my heart is full of regret. at the same time, memories flooded in. though the end of the path is not certain, i know that i'm willing to take that risk. i'll prove to you what i'm capable off. i miss you dearly, every second, every minute and every hour. i look around and i see your past self walking around. i'm lost, i need u baby, i do.

2009-05-18T23:48:00.002+08:00

exams are over and it doesn't appeal to me in any way(ironical). perhaps knowing that i'll at least have the week to enjoy would make me feel better. the outing was great today. spent quite some time sitting down chillaxing. shopping suddenly became a BIG NO(the tight budget). i absolutely can't wait to show C what i'll be giving her and the excitement is killing me alrd ! i'm seriously wishing that i could finish watching GG now. it's irritating to have to wait for a week before a downloadable episode comes out. i just realised that my room requires much more oriental stuff. or perhaps souveniers(?) will sleep on that idea tonight.

can't wait for the saturday(i'll try to contain the excitement before attempting to jump for joy) (:

cheers on this blooming romance, honey. bottoms up !

2009-05-17T20:49:00.008+08:00

went out with baby last night. watched angels and demons. the movie was pretty good in fact. though extremely complicated. went to some pasar malam and it was bloody cool (: it's kind of like an exam-over celebration (?) chem exam tmr /: after that, shopping ! nth much to say about the impeccable chemistry between us, as pictures speak a thousand words-

'u can ask him yourself if u don't believe. stop making life difficult for both parties will u ? i've spent an hour or two explaining. i think it's time u stop ?'

2009-05-14T12:58:00.001+08:00

it hurts. it hurts so much. why did u ever have to come into my life u bitch ! u ruined everything. do u know that !?

2009-05-08T12:24:00.008+08:00

exam week-

first of all, i didn't expect myself to be doing fine even with me NOT studying. perhaps it's just the easy paper (?) the day that all mother's has been waiting for is here too. got her quote, "divine truffles" unquote. second, i can't wait for exams to end, and the june holidays to arrive. the very first thing i'm gonna do on tuesday is to wake up at 10 and get a pair of comfortable shoes for the day and start the spree with baby (: thirdly, it's joan's confirmation and it's over at bukit batok. WOO. fourth, i feel dreadful to have to wait to watch GossipGirl /: the drama and intense conflict is almost killing me.

NEWSPAPER HEADLINES

MAS SELAMAT IS CAPTURED.

i'm thinking of getting flowers and a card too, but after putting it all together ? it sounds more like blind date to me- mum.

i love you honey(apology) trust me, there's an impeccable chemistry going on (:

2009-04-04T19:40:00.002+08:00

I've been deleting whatever i've been typing and i've finally settled down with this post. from a long page to just a paragraph. Coming down with a list of things that i seriously AM going to change. screw this ! i'll deal with the tears and listing simultaneously. why can't my life be easier and not having to deal with so many things ? honestly, i'm sick of this. i want things to CHANGE. i wish i've claws to peel the wood out of some exquisitely designed designer table ! screw this, i'm stopping here.

fuck !

2009-01-31T22:09:00.005+08:00

i feel like deleting this blog /: am gonna be really busy for the entire year. loads of homework are flooding in. with tuition and all, it's gonna be hell jam packed for me. i haven't touched the notebook since like 7 jan ? (i think ?), other than for the book review. still considering.

well, went for flag day today, partnered with clifton, and, i didn't know it was that natural to hang out with him. we waited at bus stops just for hoards of people to come every now and then. EVERYONE donated money ! the rest of the time was spent chatting. personally, the 4 of them are extremely close to me and the feeling towards this friendship seems different this time, as compared to others. they're really nice ppl.

headed down to penang during the holidays and i realized smth that absolutely shocked me. anw, the weather is really torrid down there. it feels as though u're just standing next to an on flowing lava. the sun totally drained all of my energy away, that i spent most of my time sleeping just to gain back my strength. received 'agatha christine' books from my uncle. it has that 'old book' type of smell; musty. but it'll improve my english tremendously. the days there were really short.

he has been an inspiration to me. most of the things that i do, the reason is mostly him. really, without him, everything doesn't seem to be going the right way. i've learnt that kindness from a person can really touch another's heart. and also, i have to go through the hard way before i actually know the value of it, how important it is to me, how much i need to treasure it. and i've clearly understood that. he doesn't mention certain things, and i always remind myself the same thing; 'damn, i need to be better.' haha, i love you baby (:

2008-12-21T20:38:00.002+08:00

i'm dying to watch ipman ! however, nothing is working out /: tuition today; received a really cool christmas present from her (: ate at botak jones for dinner. delicious ! attended church and saw brendan again (: i'm not gonna miss it next time. gonna make my IC tmr. then tuition and salon. BUSY /: good night people. it's time for 'plan b'

damn, u've disappeared !

2008-12-18T13:35:00.002+08:00

finally back from turkey. man, i miss turkey (: it had never felt that fun before.

tour group:

-two really cute guys (one particular one)

-ppl from prestigious schools

-extremely caring aunty and uncles

-proud suckers

-miss world ? (: (sophisticated)

-damn good guide (leo)

the best part were the ancient ruins. e.g. ephesus, pegamon, troy, roman ruins and greek ruins. went on the hot air balloon. saw fairy chimneys, and caves with ppl living in it. plus many more.. (pictures would be fitted in)

a few famous things in turkey:

-apple tea

-turkish delights

-belly dancing

-lantle soup

-different muslim cultures as compared to here

-tulips

-good looking ppl (guys, girls)

celebrated my b'day in overseas again. wasn't that bad after all. had an advance b'day and held it over at my house. had my confirmation and it went pretty well. hope erica's alright. hopefully i'll be able to put in the pictures soon. after so many days of not communicating with I, it made me feel terrible. as if every flower in the garden had withered.

efforts are futile using the search engine, i need to find you.

2008-12-04T20:11:00.003+08:00

DAMN ! not talking to you for a day really suck big time D: oh well, I slept for around 20 hrs+ ?! haha. days just pass by so slowly, i hope it could quicken. so i'll be able to see u again (: today had been rather dull. did revision and then started learning how to play a card game from my brother. (duel masters) is actually pretty nice. love the part when i had to 'tap' the cards. watched hairspray later on in the day, then checked if there was a clearer version for 'twilight'. Sadly, there isn't. i don't really watch pirated stuff, but i'm gonna overseas soon, so i can't catch it in the theatre. oh well. going for the loots experience with my cousin, mum and her cousin. which ALSO means that i've to skip the party which is gonna held at the rooftop of bradell view D: anw how, sunday's gonna be my confirmation. today was the youth conference. thousands of apologies to fred for not attending /: my cousin's gonna come this sat, and i'm leaving for turkey next tuesday.

YESTERDAY

went shopping with my mum and bought so many stuff. never really spent so much in my entire life, in one day that is. loved everything. got my confirmation dress in the end. it was really fluffy and fragile (:

come back fast PLEASE ?!?

2008-12-02T20:30:00.003+08:00

TODAY

went out with fred, mel, samantha, ivan, pamela, kevin and daniel. watched 'the city of ember'. the show was a lil bit draggy but overall, it was awesome (: didn't get to buy my confirmation dress, probably going to town tmr to search. or perhaps, daniel yam ? hope it's not too expensive down there.

YESTERDAY

had been a pretty depressing/moody yet enlightening day. i'm glad that everything did turn out well in the end :D did nth much. and i'm unable to sign in onto msn through mac. wonder why. hope my cousin could help ASAP. (can't remember the rest).

SUNDAY

went to visit the newly developed park; admiralty park. the place there is totally like a swamp !? /: YUCK ! absolutely regretted going there. there were even socks stuffed into trees !? oh well. however, the buffet there is pretty nice. hopefully i'll be able to try it out one day. (can't remember the rest).

u make my heart skip a beat the moment u speak (:

2008-11-27T12:12:00.003+08:00

#01. the person who tagged you is ?

ARVINDER KAUR

#02. your relatonship with Him/Her ?

my mad peeking bra woman :P

#03. your 5 impresion of Him/Her

a tickling queen, somehow childish, laughs till her head comes off, somewhat gross, but overall, she's still one of my best girl friends :D

#04. the most memorable thing that He/She has done for you

when she waited with me till god knows when for someone and it was the end of exams !

#05. the most memorable thing that He/She has said to you ?

well, almost every nonsensical word in the dictionary.

#06. if He/She becomes your LOVER, things He/She has to improve is ?

a DRASTIC change of virginity that is (:

#07. If He/She becomes your enemy, you will ?

i'll live my life in self pity and regret.

#08. what is the thing that you want to tell Him/Her now ?

"HEY PEEKY BRA WOMAN"

#09. your overall impression of Him/Her

lovely and sweet (:

#10. how do you think the person around you will feel about you ?

i'm not psychic !?

#11. the character you love of yourself is ?

it's for me to know ONLY.

#12. on the contrary, the character you hate of yourself is ?

my uncontrolable emotions (which in turn, is my undoing)

#13. the most ideal person you want to be is ?

one who knows when to say the right thing and also undemanding.

#14. for people who cares and likes you, say something to them.

gracias (:

#15. pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know their feel about you

1. issac

2. joan

3. victor

4. isabelle quek

5. hannah

6. farhan

7. isabel tee

8. arvinder

9. hasanah

10. amanda

#16. who is No. 6 having relationship with ?

currently no one. though trying.

#17. is No. 9 female or male ?

PURE FEMALE 100 %

#18. if No. 7 & No. 10 were to be together, will it be a good thing ?

obviously NO. duh !?

#19. what is No. 2 studying about ?

triple pure science. pure history. combine geog and ss. the rest is the same.

#20. when was the last time you chat with No. 3 ?

3-4 days ago.

#21. what kind of music does No. 8 like ?

NO IDEA ?!

#22. does No. 1 have siblings ?

yepp.

#23. will you WOO No. 3 ?

i think it should be the other way around :P

#24. how about No.7 ?

over my dead body !?

#25. is No. 4 single ?

'zip'

#26. what is the surname of No. 5 ?

lim

#27. what is the hobby of No. 10 ?

drawing/talking

#28. does No. 5 and No.9 get along well ?

sworn enemies.

#29. where is No. 2 studying at ?

Cresent Girls.

#30. talk something about No. 1

one word 'awesome'

#31. have you tried developing feelings for No. 8 ?

NEVER !

#32. where does No. 9 stay ?

woodlands

#33. are you No. 1 and No. 5's bestfriends ?

No. 1, (more than best friends). No. 2, definitely

#34. does No. 1 has pets ?

yes :D lovable ones too !

#35. is No. 7 the sexiest person in the world ?

up to her to say so (:

#36. what is No. 10 doing now ?

studying ? (:

2008-11-26T13:48:00.002+08:00

i'm wondering what's he doing now at this particular instant. missing him like shit. everything changed ever since u left. namely, attitude, mentality and approach. goals have been shifted according to how i felt on that particular day when i started to revive certain conversations that were left un-continued.

can't wait for the christmas to arrive, as there would be turkey :D P's arriving on the 6th (loop holes and trenches would be filled). it's time of the year in which i love the best. it's present shopping :D who should i do it with this year ? hopefully gonna receive the mail that i'm anticipating from my aunt and YOU ! just loving the blissful days which just pass by in the blink of an eye. and somehow yet tortures, without u around that is. it's coming to an end (holidays) !? 'snap', just like that.

i wish i could see u smile again despite what that has happened.

2008-11-23T15:47:00.002+08:00

finally back from camp. this is seriously the most boring camp i've EVER been to in my entire life.

1st day:

got into groups, made friends with maria and nicole :D i seriously didn't know that was such a school as SJI international ?! but anw, they're cool ppl. had mass, and some group work /: rosary prayers

2nd day:

had mass, bible readings, did the response psalm thingy. group work again. there was confession at night. did suntanning in the afternoon (i'm bloody tan-ed now). there were talks after that (sex). rosary prayers and group photos.

3rd day:

apparently, a few girls got sent into the hospital due to an accident. some form of vehicle knocked into them. one fractured her leg, the other one, got knocked in the head pretty badly and the last one had a cut in her scalp. rosary prayers. suposed to still be in camp now, but my dad fetched me early (thank goodness !?)

Issac had already left SG, and damn, i miss him so D: sigh, safe journey ! anxiously anticipating his call later on :D going out during the night to catch some movie with my family. toodles.

-waiting for the day to be night, just so we could stare at exact same star in the night sky-

2008-11-17T17:40:00.003+08:00

woots :D finally got my new camera. cybershot T77; green. supposed to meet up with the softball peeps today but sadly, i'd to celebrate my dad's b'day. oh well, really srry. supposed to head to the botanical gardens with issac, but again, plans were cancelled. ordered some pizza's and had a jolly good time eating them too. 2A1's having their class chalet today and i'm still expecting a call from YOU ! (: completed playing a game called brooktown high in just like a few hours ? wicked huh ?
went to dan ryans last night and had roasted chicken for dinner to celebrate my parents anniversary. watched nanny diaries last night too. church camp is approaching faster than expected. went to church yesterday and i finally get to see that hot facillitator again (: bet izzey knows who i'm talking about. last but not least,
HAPPY B'DAY DAD
HAPPY BELATED ANNIVERSARY

toodles.

2008-11-11T23:07:00.002+08:00

i've finally completed the watching of gossip girl season 1 D: i wish the dvd for season 2 could come out faster !? so addicted to it alrd. i'm starting to get the motivation that i need lately and it's been awesomely great (: camp is gonna come soon. and i'm alrd dreading it. i can't even bring my phone along with me /:

the new XPERIA sony ericsson is really sleek. hope i can actually own it (:

everything will be fine. remember what i said (:

2008-11-10T20:35:00.005+08:00

it's all about pottery and vases :D they're mine to keep.

today has been really boring, except for the fact of watching G.G. had really bad news, and it seems as if he's going back sooner than expected. man, this sucks big time D: hope time could pass faster though. slept real late last night and still, i'd to wake up real early just to go to lavender to make that dumb passport. not only that, it was raining. imagine the torture. damn ! can't wait for the camera. lastly, good luck for the paper tmr :D

the fingernails are speaking silver and blue to me.

2008-11-09T18:31:00.010+08:00

today has been rather boring. nth much to do and went online to check out some camera's. decided on one and it's really sleek :D yesterday arsenal won man-u 2-1. like shucks ! anw, a very happy birthday to EMMANUEL :D posting some random photos. and yea yea ! i forgot about mentioning the SPA. did pretty well in fact. i had a feeling that lenses would come out. haha. lucky me (:

'lunching alfresco today my lady ?'

2008-11-08T23:02:00.002+08:00

okay, i seriously can't remember what i've been doing the past few days. but oh well, no biggie. i finally got the gossip girl season 1. and it's awesome. thanks to issac :D season 2's only gonna come out next year. secretly anticipating it. so, obama won the elections and somehow i'm really happy it's not the other white guy who won /:
went out for lunch with issac and shawn yesterday. went pretty well (: and i'm soo soo srry for not replying izzey. my phone doesn't have anymore prepaid. and i think u text-ed to my bro's phone. and my mum didn't allow either. will make it sometime (: promise !
wne to church for interview this morning and i was really surprised that i actually 72% attendance ?! way awesome :D well, went to my mum's open day for her programme and stole some little kiddo's furry sticker (
i know u can go through all those problems, will be with u always. it's alright dearie.
it has been up and down lately and i'm sorry for all of the stuff that happened recently. so, truce HB ? (:

-daintishlyaltruistic-

2008-11-02T14:46:00.002+08:00

it's already the beginning of a new month (: went to church yesterday and it turned out that there wasn't any classes /: the morning had been awesome. had pizza hut for dinner after mass. my dad came home at around 12 plus ? he brought home plenty of chocs. the best from san francisco ! there's school tmr and the best part is that lessons are only for an hour. thinking of skipping. heading to cineleisure tmr with a bunch of ppl and having dinner with I :D anticipating it. and of course, a very HAPPY BELATED HALLOWEEN to everyone. wonder when would singapore ever make halloween a big occasion (:

hope your cough gets better before the exams (:

and hope your flu gets better too gf (:

2008-10-29T19:52:00.002+08:00

I'M SICK ! D: damn. didn't attend remedials today. went to school halfway and decided to turn back due to the nauseous feeling that was starting to build up in me. oh well. hope i didn't miss out on too much today /:

I sent me back home just now and i really appreciate it (: thanks HB :P watched a movie just now and it was really cool :D hope dodo had a great time out just now. man, hope my dad comes home quick. feels weird without a family member in the house. finally got the product i wanted from bio-essence :D

lastly, i want to wish isabel a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY ! :D may all your wishes come through girl ! and thanks for that bit of info btw.

"today had been a really close shave ! there shall not be anymore next times !

glad u did well for the paper today and all the best for tomorrow's paper too (:

already missing u."

2008-10-27T14:13:00.002+08:00

HAPPY DEEPAVALI !

my dad left for US pretty early today and i didn't get to say bye. oh well. there was a match between liverpool and chelsea yesterday and the latter won (: that's boo hoo for somebody :P tris left early too without my phone of course. i'm starting to have a thing for british guys. ppl like jude law and ewan mcgregor. dang ! love their accent. hope he's concentrating on his studies and at the same time, coping well with the phlegm and cough (: probably going for a swim later. shit ! it's ABOUT to rain, i forgot. currently watching the show bollywood queen and the lady is hell-like pretty.

hope she's coping fine man. worried sick about her.

and that guy is absolutely nuts girl.

see how i twist that puny yet pathetic mind of his around my finger.

2008-10-26T18:38:00.003+08:00

didn't go to church today. and there's gonna be some stupid camp soon /: went online and started talking about hairy ppl with izzey. can't wait to hear more (: and we're gonna out real soon right ?! grandparents-thanks for the compliments; sweet (: my dad's gonna go US tmr and it's gonna be really long before he comes back. really hoping to go somewhere new in this small 'dot-like' place and i'm starting to feel hype over those ancient tribal bracelets. i find them attractive in fact. oh man man man, hope issac could burn the gossip girl series fast. and i'm just dying to watch 'the hills' and not to mention the long awaited '90210'.

yesterday

watched south park, and joined my mum to watch a little of 'nights in rodanthe'. it's all about movies lately /: oh well, can't wait to get a new winter jacket for the holidays. hopefully a black one with ARTIFICIAL fur on it. don't want someone to think as if i'm killing raccoons :P i can't really remember the rest though.

"in a world i seldom understand, there are winds of destiny that blow when we least expect them.

sometimes they gust with the fury of a hurricane, sometimes they barely fan one's cheek.

but the winds cannot be denied, bringing as they often do with a future that is impossible to ignore." - (:

2008-10-23T19:43:00.002+08:00

oh ! it's been days (: well, there was this financial course thingy on tuesday. and it was so freaking fun :D didn't go to school on monday; went to the malaysia high commission to make my passport. can't wait to go on holiday, but at the same time, i'm skipping my class chalet D: didn't attend school yesterday due to headaches and sore throat. had teachers vs students games today and it's also the last day of school. gonna have plenty of remedials for the next 2 weeks. have been writing certs for my mum in cursive just to earn some fast cash. gonna help her for face painting too.

gonna go to school tmr to return the report book. seriously, i'm suddenly so in love with watermelon flavoured jelly beans. i guess i'm gonna get it with someone (:

glad u did quite well for the first few papers. it's only 2 weeks more (:

2008-10-19T22:52:00.002+08:00

it ached till it could kill with just another step taken ;

oh man man man (: yesterday was cool ! went out till 11.00 last night (: the church had some weird rally thingy over at toa payoh stadium and i skipped it. reached church at around 12.30 ? gave a holler to I and met him at orchard mrt. took till city hall and shopped at city link and marina square. had high tea over at gelare. checked out some coats which were real pricey. went over to millenia walk and started ogling at the candy empire (: then headed to the flyer and walked round and round where the place stank like piss /: there was this guy who was taking pictures of himself by putting the camera on the ground. hah ! really dumb. then, it started to rain ; like dang ! so, sat around at this umbrella shelter till it stopped. then we walked over to suntec city. realised that there were many participants participating for the canon photoshoot challenge thingy. like COOL. caught max payne and it was pretty disappointing. reached church at around 10.30 and I ate bachor mee while i sat there feeling hungry :P sat around like night watch guards till my parents came to fetch me back home (: was pretty surprised that my uncle came to visit and man, did the car stink like alcohol. and the teasing suck big time !? /: overall, the day was awesome (:

'mummy mummy ! it's a waterfall with really cool sculptures there too !'

there will be plenty more when your O's are over (:

2008-10-17T20:55:00.002+08:00

today was the sec 4's graduation ceremony. was pretty dull /: anw, congrats to issac for receiving his certificate of credit (: what happened in the hall was a terribly revolting thing. bet susie and clifton would have agreed to that ! can't wait to tell her/him (: after being asked whether i'm going to the chalet, it made me remember once again that i can't go D:

the chalet is on the 9th. and i'm going on holiday on the 9TH too !? oh crap.

went back to class and a terrible incident happened /: gosh ! felt so freaking guilty ! i'm making ppl have wrong ideas about stuff. and a BIG BIG apology to claire D:

SORRY CLAIREYEESHIMIN ! :D

bet this would cheer her up big time ! have a lil note for u later on (: and on your friendster msg ! and through text too ! okay, went to the library just now with my bro and I. the part after the library visit was the one that was the coolest (: hmm. i think i should buy lip-gloss and start applying it.

'HEY GF ! :D i know i've been a terrible friend lately, hopefully u'll forgive me, because i've been feeling horrible about it the entire day. i'm really sorry gf ! u're still my best friend who would always remain loyal to mousey :P'

p.s. all the best for your chem paper ! :D

2008-10-16T20:35:00.002+08:00

school was uber boring today. did almost nth except the fact that i'm actually making notes for I. turned out that he didn't need it at all. oh well. was laughing with susie about this girl that was featured in this magazine. love the ferrari though (: recess was spent doing word puzzles ?! went home alone and joined joel on the way. finally found the reason why. didn't know that there was so much complications in it. had a great time at home and there were take-aways from LJS. thanks (: i classify this as the best day ever !

planning an outing with susie, claire, siying, and perhaps their counterparts ? (:

damn ! i didn't know ppl were actually so mean and cowardly to actually spam blogs of others just for fun. that's just so unfair towards her. she didn't even do anything to them and yet they did such a childish act. that's mean !? well, i'm with you on this (:

2008-10-15T19:25:00.004+08:00

today has been pretty dull with all the talks, going through of papers and some dumb lit play where the production seriously suck /: had a crime prevention talk and before that, mdm kee was like giving some cyberspace talk ? skipped training in the end. they seem separated /: had a really fun day after school. and dang ! she didn't recognize you !? like 'got to be kiddin !' wonder whether she's just feigning ignorance-

yesterday

went out with GF yesterday and had a great time (: watched house bunny the 2nd time. a pity that farhan couldn't come due to bboying. then headed over to sunplaza to return the rented cd's. man ! the shopkeeper looks hot ?! oh well.. had a terrible night when i returned home.

'the ketchup almost smeared on my top okay D:'

found out that E was from st anthony's ?! it's seriously surprising. i hate this 'it's such a small world' phrase. why is it that almost everybody is interlinked with ppl that are over at the other side of this world ? i guess i'll find out more from C.

i'm like head over heels for xabi alonso- god ! he's hot (: my phone battery is screwed. and it's a new phone ?!

all the best for tmr's practical (: u'll do fine-

2008-10-13T15:59:00.002+08:00

WOOH ! exams are finally over and it's been ages since i last blogged. has been pretty boring lately with almost nth to do /: and geez ! i'm starting to have

PIMPLES !?

gosh ! they're like sprouting out everywhere. i guess it's probably due to post-exam stress. heh. went to school today and got back my results. did badly. was released at 1p.m. and gossiped for awhile. after exams ended, went out to celebrate a lil (: got treated to pizza hut and that's the end of my first day after exams.

friday

went out to causeway and caught house bunny (: was a very nice show and he was complaining non-stop saying that it wasn't his cup of tea. got a lovely present and headed back home.

2008-09-14T12:42:00.006+08:00

okay, this is gonna be the last post till the exams are over. and man, i'm dreading for it to end. zillions of good stuff are gonna happen right after that (: woo- in the meantime, i've to mug real hard.

Just finished tution and YAY ! i finally understood the topic. sketching graphs is such a chore. and thank goodness, i completed my A maths hw which i've been owing my teacher /:

[last night was till 4 only D: i'm sorry !? and fatigue doesn't just go off in just a flash :P there has to be a reasonable explanation behind it. haha (: must be my magic which worked (: hoho ! really apologize for mentioning them. especially him. guys will remain guys won't they ? :P but still feeling guilty D: haha. the dream wasn't far-fetched alright ? if u were to really get 8, pls do what u did (: i'm gonna love the gazes and stares that i am bound to attract :P and u ARE gonna make it happen. oh ! i promised u and i didn't go back on it (: this column is specially for u-]

my dad flew to Penang to attend the funeral today. my great granny died yesterday morning and it was a painless death. now, i believe she's in a better place somewhere (: dying at an age of 96 is remarkable-

golf or perhaps learning french ?

he must like her, he has to, he must !?

-i won't lose sight of u, as i'll always have your hand as a guide. and i'll cling on tight to it-

2008-09-13T18:32:00.002+08:00

Interesting, u blogged before u even text me. How ironical i must say. Anyway how, i'm not gonna quarrel with u anymore.

i wish u the best of luck in the upcoming exams, and do your best in it (:

It's a saturday and exams are approaching nearer and nearer. I've got many subs that i've yet to cover, which is seriously freaking me out. However, i'll listen to your words and not stress out (:

Physics : so screwed.

Chinese : got to start reading the handbook /:

History : chpt 6 [ UNTOUCHED ?! ]

Ss : UNTOUCHED ?!

i hope i've enough time ? was feeling terrible over the results that i got. i'm glad u're there for me (:

woo ! saw Aaron's brother on the way to sch the other day. he was pretty surprised to see me there. hah.

my dad bought 'the scripts' album today and there was a pretty funny story behind it. lame in fact.

studied almost the entire day today and thanks to the pills, got pretty drowsy and was actually struggling to concentrate /: and yes, i'm still sick. that sucks real bad D:

yepp, that's that. there's this new song which is uber cool. and i'm listening to it everyday ever since i heard it. the song is 'just stand up' by various artist coming together to sing a song for the cancer patients (:

'why do we fall ? so that we learn to pick ourselves up again. i'll never stay beaten, i know u won't either.' - thanks.

2008-09-08T17:25:00.006+08:00

i've no idea what u're doing. are u just trying to start a fight with me because u find it very entertaining ? do u just want the world to hate me and to actually allow them to think u're correct and i'm in the wrong ? do u want to make me embarrassed and ashamed ? or do u just want to let everybody know how u're feeling about this entire affair ?

well, i'm alright with that, because i know my conscience is clear. whatever game u're trying to play, i'm not going to be fooled by it. i think the only thing u're good at is to insult ppl. i must say those books that u've been reading about high school life and the things that girls do in the US has really trained u up for these type of circumstances. how perfectly executed i must say. my only advice to u is that if u don't know anything, keep your big mouth shut ! and don't just assume.

i admit that i said confirmation is important, and that now, i'm saying another thing. u might think that i'm some "plastic bitch"/"plastic slug". those are your own opinions, i can't change it. but the truth is, from the very beginning. i've never thought confirmation was important. i did not tell you my honest view about this. and the only reason i'm going for classes, is because i didn't want to disappoint my mum. i told u that because i thought it would at least do u some good. i did not tell the truth from the start, and perhaps because of that, u think of me as some liar. i thought that if i were'nt to care about confirmation (which is the truth), i can actually make your perception change and not to have you having the same thinking as me. i thought i was actually helping u and doing u a favour in which u would be grateful for, but now, it seems like u don't appreciate it at all. i apologize for not telling u about my thinking from the start.

AND.

the reason i wrote confirmation was not important is not because i don't have any friends. i didn't think it was important from the start, and that was way before i even knew u. and god means everything to me. even if i don't think confirmation is important, god is of great importance to me. and it's true that i've no other friends whom i actually start a real conversation with except u. and i did not give any excuses about it. but so what if u have more friends than i do ? that doesn't affect me. i've no idea why u would want to bring HIM into the picture. he has nth to do with this. and what's the point of actually mentioning frederick ? why mention whether he's sweet or not ? does he being sweet have any relevance to whatever we're arguing about ? or do u have a hidden agenda ? the point is, there's no point on wrting so much when they're only based on assumptions. and one last thing. does me wearing my mum's clothes bother or have any relevance to u in any way ? so what if i were to wear them ? i'm not like u where u get clothes almost every time u want them as i don't work to get the expenses to actually buy them. and i bet many other ppl wear their mum's clothes too. there's nth wrong with that. what u wear does not define u as a person, as what truly matters is what's inside- i'm not going to say anything more as i know it will never end. i'm through arguing with you.

am sick D: didn't attend school today and i've to really get started on my physics worksheets /:

"i'm so relieved that u did well (: real srry about last night alright ? and 8 times is alot (: "

2008-09-07T13:35:00.004+08:00

okay, this feeling sucks so bad. this is totally driving me nuts D: well, i've just got to get a hold of myself, and this is like the toughest thing D: sigh, but the end result is always the sweetest.

THURSDAY
went out girlfriend. was a very enlightening trip (: i'm finally able to actually go out with her. and i've got to compliment her on her red and white striped shirt. was beautiful. bought a pair of heels. she bought the same pair but with a different colour, and the best part, we have the same shoe size :D bought another pair of earings. i lost the exact same pair a few years back and i'm not gonna lose it again this time :P JX cancelled his dinner outing and she met up with manu instead (: i went out with Issac after that. i bet he agreed that it was a very fruitful and fufilling trip :P hope u enjoyed it, it held many memories-

FRIDAY
my school hw are not even done up yet. i left chinese and physics /: had tuition and i have to agree it was very thrilling :P sneaking out to be exact.

SATURDAY
today was seriously very depressing. Went up to the little hill together. what a pity that it wasn't late at night where the stars would be twinkling non-stop. haha :P
there wasn't any church today and well, confirmation is really stressing me out. gladys keeps calling me to hand in the form and blah blah blah. GOSH ! when will it ever stop ?! anyway how, i don't really the see the difference in getting confirmed or not. u still believe in him and that's what matters. when did it ever become so complicated ? geez.

SUNDAY
had tuition and i actually have to start reading through the entire textbook to actually remember everything again /: what a hassle. oh well, i recieved your text and "yes, i really really do too (:" okay, gtg. have plenty of hw to gao dim :P

-remember what u're suppose to bring tmr AND the timetable-
want any of mine ?

2008-09-03T12:50:00.002+08:00

it's the holidays ! WEETS- a pretty relaxed week. finally got the period of resting time that i wanted after weeks of classes.

met up with issac for breakfast. Attended A maths remedial yesterday and i'm starting to hate trigonometric ratios /: skipped SS remedial. wonder if mdm lim would find out. hah ! it rained again yesterday, as always. headed to LJS with the a bunch of ppl from S2. he had seriously matured since last year. from what i observed. all in all, had a delicious meal (:

FRIDAY

went out with I and headed down to town. was suppose to hang out with hannah at vivo. but she cancelled the outing. anyway how, it was a lovely evening. the walk we went through was unimaginable. a BIG apology to hannah and hasanah, for not being able to meet u and for not being able to go out with u respectively. accidentally took his ipod touch. and well, i don't feel guilty :P love the shirt btw (:

it has been raining these days and yesterday was the only day where i actually love the rain like i've never loved it before. it was very sweet and thoughtful of u to go to such an extent. i will never forget it (:

can't wait for the outing in thursday with girlfriend. YEAH ! :D

rubies will do just fine-they sparkle almost instinctively.

2008-08-28T19:56:00.003+08:00

[Aion-the tower of eternity]

the newest pc game in which i'm looking forward too (: sweet-

today has been somehow depressing.

kinda blew my top this afternoon. i'm really sorry to u 2 ppl.

and u knew u shouldn't have said that much stuff, i hope.

got back my A maths, E maths and physics test paper.

tmr is aces day and we've to dance. wearing the sec 3 camp shirt- as instructed.

hannah cancelled her outing tmr. which means getting stuck at home till evening (:

the holidays are about to be here :D

attended a memory seminar yesterday. i think it won't do much help for my studies /:

oh well, at least when we play games like memorizing objects, i'll be the one winning full-time !

suddenly, i feel like going back to france and italy. how much i miss that place. especially the cobbled stoned roads pathways and roads. the castles, prisons, palaces and not to mention museums.

i can't wait (:

but for now, got to start studying (:

-don't let the fear of striking out, keep u from playing the game-

2008-08-24T18:16:00.003+08:00

woah. it's been ages man (: well, a certain part of life has been a bitch. so many things are happening at one go that i wish i could actually stop the hour hand from moving.

went through a mind drive last night. i'm leading my life down the drain and after having a foresight on everything, it actually does deserve a make-over. i hope things will get better.

exams are coming and well, have not even started revising yet. GOSH ! /: have to get started with a schedule.

attended training on friday and i think i tore my muscle or smth /: okay. that's a lil too exaggerating. i still felt welcomed after months of not attending. oh thank you angeline (: and not to mention kahmin too (:

there's gonna be this memorizing talk thingy on wednesday. and i can't believe mdm lim actually forced the entire class to attend it when it's not compulsory !

had physics test and E maths test the other day. both test went pretty well i must say. there's gonna be ss tmr /: and chem. and A maths. and vocab test. and chinese. and ... MAN ! plenty more.

YESTERDAY

didn't attend church yesterday and instead chose to go to NLB like the previous week. BUT, in the end, went to northpoint with I (: ate tepanyaki and went over to the library. hmm. Those girls in the magazine were not that bad ! :P u've high standards man :P had a great time overall (:

hmm. there are still other major + minor details here and there. but couldn't remember /:

and and. lastly-

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIYING :D

will get her a card the next week (:

2008-08-10T23:20:00.002+08:00

well, it has been quite some time since i last blogged. suddenly i feel as if there's nth to write anymore /: well, went to church today with I. weets- i think he found it interesting. hmm. i guess it's a firstimer's opinion ? to me, it'll forever be a routine. slept quite late last night and woke up 10 minutes before tuition started.
claire's gonna go for her piano exam and cheesy and isabelli are gonna go for OBS. hope they enjoy themselves and all the best for girlfriend :D my aunt came down from penang for some business meeting. and she stayed in a suite !?! i could stayover with her if not for my mum- my uncle came down too. all of us had dinner together and it was nice to have that feeling of togetherness. smth happened in her hotel room which totally freaked me out real bad ! and there was this other guy who really scared me too. and he still is-

-she's not worth your cries my dear, u deserve much more. she ain't even called a friend, she's smth worst than that. so, don't change who u are just for her.

u made me speechless.
rock your body-JT

2008-08-03T12:24:00.002+08:00

yesterday

went out with issac yesterday. headed to cityhall.

love the hair-do (:

searched high and low for a shirt. and finally got my bro an adidas jersey which is so bloody sweeeeettt :D i can even wear it.

and damn ! i found my beryls choc. like so awesome.

went to prints to get the wrappings for my bro, and the place there is like woah. the stuff there are like HOTTT ! i feel like working there all of a sudden.

then headed to church- [ green line ].

mass lasted for 1 and a 1/2 hrs. all thanks to those cathehumans.

then we went to vivo-marche, for dinner.

ate a fillet of seabream and an impossible miss, chocolate mouse.

drank idc root beer and rose wine.

compliments so well with the red meat-

watched the mtv asia awards which was held at genting.

highlights-

chinese oral : did much better as compared to my english one.

enlgish oral : mrs liu was staring at me, and it made mt so nervous that i started to tremble all over /: that's how i screwed up the entire conversation.

photo shoot : it went pretty well, and my slacks tore. probably because of the consistent tugging. and i want to thank my 3 seniors.

phone call : well, i'm srry for my imprudency. and for judging before giving a thought for u. but i really meant what i said for telling u all those things that i dislike. i hope that u'll be able to change for the better. and i'll be there for u no matter what yea ? i don't wish to sow discord between both of us, because it's not worth it. i know u don't wish too either. so we cool about it all ?

-i'm getting hooked on floral prints-

2008-07-20T13:06:00.003+08:00

Went to susie's house yesterday to discuss the racial harmony competition. the 'chinese cloth' turned out to be awesome. even though it's made up of twigs and flowers. moktar was being such an ass and tian and siying were like conversing in chinese, 'if i have a mouth shutter now, i'll shut his entire mouth.' pretty funny actually. susie's house was like totally messed up and her sister was SWEEEETTT :D can't believe M actually said that she was cute :P danced in her house where the music was blasting through the entire level.

headed to northpoint in the end where i met up with I. didn't go to church as we weren't able to finish the costume. but oh well, srry IZZEY (: went to church after that and fred was being so sweet by greeting me with 'do u want to purchase chocs ?' /: thanks uh ? haha :P gosh, even though his hair is a lil too long, it made him look hot (: and YES YES ! i saw patrick and brian :D

ate at some deserted chinese restaurant. BUT ! the food there was great :D yummylicious in fact. and the waitress kept smiling at me. wonder why ; got home and started doing some revision for next weeks test. there are 5 ?!? how bad can it get ?

NICKNACKS-

i've a lil smth to give IZZEY on monday. hope she doesn't blow /:

CLAIRE gave me the letter. FINALLY ! got a shock. but oh well, it was an honest truth (: thanks GF.

i'm srry for not answering your call last night D.D.

CHARLES, srry for not returning ur text on mass timings. i'll get in touch with them soon.

2008-07-12T16:48:00.002+08:00

tears are rolling like beads down my face. i don't know what happened. neither do i know the reason why. i loved her. now, she's gone. forever. how's this possible ? god can't be that unjust. it seems as if someone in the house died. the mood is so down. i had a great day and when i came back, everything happened all so fast. her b'day was just 10 days away. i planned to do smth for her. and now, my efforts went down the drain. i phoned I and i knew it wasn't the right thing to do where u spoil someone's day with your own misery. to make myself feel worst, i even lied. and now, i'm filled with guilt, remorse, anger and anxiety. i miss her. i miss her so much. i'm not even able to give her a token of my appreciation after so many years of us being such close friends. NOT EVEN A SIMPLE GIFT. NOT EVEN ONE ! i loved her so damn much. why ? why ? i want an answer !

just the day before yesterday, i felt terrible. Shawn talked to me and that made myself feel much better. I heard me out, and i'm very grateful to him. it feels as though a burden has been lifted off my back. the worst part was, i thought that, everything would be fine starting from yesterday. however, i spoke too soon. now, this happened. school life will no longer have any meaning without her in it. neither will it be any better at home.

i wish her all the best in future prospects. give her the power to overcome whatever obstacle that comes by her way. smoothen out the gravel path in front of her. make her life easier from now on. she has gone through such a terrible past, and for once, smth good must come by her way. it has too. it must !

-my hands, my keyboard, my shirt, my face. they're all soaked-

[ i'll never forget u. i promise ! ]

2008-07-07T19:39:00.002+08:00

tomorrow's a school day D: i think i'm gonna have monday blues. talked to PEACH today and she's gonna have her PMR this yr. hope she does well in it.

went to bugis junction. while my bro went to the national library. went shoping. and i'm dying to get my black heels. i just suddenly realised that shopping lifts my spirits. well, i bet everyone has heard the phrase. "shopping is girl's best friend."

i guess i'll have to start going fro training again soon. my hands are starting to itch. wanting to get hold of that glove and ball again. i actually miss playing the game. hmm.

i still think of it every now and then.

2008-07-05T22:23:00.002+08:00

it's been a while. well, bought a book [ the A-list novel ]. one of the very few which i actually think is a gd book. borrowed a book from myint- [ the notebook ]. another romantic story book (: girlfriend's been pretty down lately, most probably suffering from post shopping disease. planning a fantastic outing to make her jumpy and cheerful again :D
school's been a bitch. probably because i was ill. other than that. it's been awesome. one of the days, my chinese teacher really pissed me off. oh well, i'll just have to play along with her then-
just yesterday, cheesy was at the canteen with me. and he started mouthing the intro from powerpuff girls.

"sugar, spice and everything nice,
those were the ingredients to create the perfect little girls,
however, professor utonium accidentally added in chemical X,
BLAST !
the powerpuff girls were created.
blossom, bubbles and buttercup."

didn't get to buy the diary and the book. went to sammy's to eat dinner. YUMMY- tmr's tuition time. (chit-chat session)
the song "its amazing" from the soundtrack, sex in the city is the best song yet (:
[ the dark knight's ] gonna be big hit. and i can't wait to catch it :D
BYE o'lil eathlings.

-SIMPLE IS COOL-

2008-06-23T19:32:00.002+08:00

hey ppl :D i just came back from church camp yesterday. didn't come to sch today due to a lil bit of fever /: crap huh ?

CHURCH CAMP

church camp was awesome. IZZEY left half-way and i thought that i'll be super lonely from then on. but it didn't turn out that way (: after attending that camp. i got more in touch with god and everything changed. including the way i talk. my perspective of things, and not to mention my aims and goals. during camp, there was this thing where ppl give warm fuzzies to one another. and i was pretty surprised to have received quite a few. when at that time, i didn't know anyone (: there was this msg where i got a very big shock from. met new friends. tricia, mel, frederick, and jonathan. i'm gonna keep in contact with them.

"i shouldn't have talked to him the way i did. i felt so bad and guilty. i really didn't mean to hurt him. and i really hope that he'll accept my apology"

2008-06-18T12:53:00.003+08:00

i'm like so dreading school to come. all of a sudden in fact. imagining and recalling the busy life makes my entire body shiver- the load of hw. GEEZ-

had an awesome talk with girlfriend yesterday. talked with I too. and it was entertaining as usual (:

i think i should be visiting st. anthony's soon. it has been a while. i'm starring to miss the parishioners and all the other ppl in it.

i've done so many things during this period which to me, is smth that i regret. keeping promises is smth that means alot to me. and yet, i still deliberately went back on my word.

i read thorugh a few shakespearen quotes just the other day and there was one which made alot of sense. it goes like this-

"LOVE not with the eyes, but with the mind. and therefore, the winged cupid is painted blind."

how true can it get ? (:

-to be with you ; mr big-

2008-06-17T13:33:00.002+08:00

YESTERDAY :D

travelled with I around everywhere yesterday- [ THE HAPPENING ] was terrible ! i recommend it not to be watched. the ending was pathetic and ppl left the cinema half way through the show !

my legs hurt like mad. "guess i'm not much of a walker "

orchard-esplanade-clark quay-central. and i'm swearing that i'll never jay walk ever again X:

two caucasians asked us for directions. and it had been twice ! :D YAY ! being friendly seriously pays :P

NEWSFLASH !

FYI ! girlfriend's back from m'sia :D GOSH ! i missed her so badly-

FYI ! isabel's gone to US. i have'nt really cleared things out with her yet /:

PREVIOUSLY :D

had a really good talk with izzey just last week. and what happened at the bachormee stall was embarrassing D: i think the uncle should know me by now :P skipped class the other time with her. none of us dared to open the door /: it was really stupid.

TOP SECRET :P

"thanks for the toe :D really sweet of you-"

"i'm really srry that i'm not able to go out D: some other day yea ? :D"

"YES ! if u're reading this as a daily affair thing. don't spreaad anything to mum's or dad's ! and the unicorn tail is so dead under my hands smurfo freak ! careful of ur boss :P"

THE BEST FRIEND QUIZ :D

2008-06-13T13:41:00.001+08:00

Are you really best friends?

I took this Quiz- Are you really best friends?

My Result Was:
Best friends, thats what you and your friend are. Great going buddy.

Take this quiz- Are you really best friends?

More Quizzes on lots of topics.

2008-06-11T22:53:00.006+08:00

some of the photo's that was last taken during the esplanade trip :D

my mum and i a very stupid picture of me /:

2008-06-10T12:30:00.003+08:00

hit town yesterday with I. finally bought my guess wallet. and it was worth it :D kung fu panda was awesome ! very hilarious. walked quite a distance just to eat dinner. and came home right before my curfew. WHEW-

THECINEMA
someone was throwing popcorn like mad at me. and i came home smelling of popcorn. PLUS, there was this really tall guy blocking my view. how bad can it get in a cinema ? haha. but popcorn was real FUN :P

it's been a while since i last chit chatted with girlfriend. and yepps, we surely do have alot of catching up to do :D hope her mum allows her to go _____. i hope my doodies gets the photo's downloaded fast (: especially the ones in france :D

-being hurt sometimes might be a blessing in disguise-

2008-06-08T16:27:00.002+08:00

today's a sunday and i'm about to go to church. did some studies today :D G's going camp today- gonna go CW to buy some watches, belts bangles back home ! hitting town again tmr to watch kung fu panda. cheesy said that it was nice ;D

YESTERDAY

my bro went to some chinese programme in funan. picked him up. supposed to go down town with my parents but i ended up going with I VERY unexpected- first time seeing a guy buying so much stuff X: went to dinner at holland. the food there was superb. my dad ate one bowl of laksa and nasi lemak. it's two big helpings if u guys don't know. haha. phoned charles in the afternoon and as usual, having sea training- by the time he text-ed me at night. i was alrd sleeping.
last night was the first time i switched on the orange light beside my bed. it gives of that warmish glow. it rocks so bad :D

2008-06-06T15:45:00.007+08:00

WEEE ! i'm finally back from camp. camp was fun :D. made new friends too :D the activities were alright. but the best was still kayaking. partnered with jeckie and i've no idea why he had to race ernest to the finish line. haha. cut my lips in one of the activities. GEEZ.
the food was horrible ! especially the rice. YUCK !
my group's instructor is called sheik. and he's a pretty cool guy. however, he ripped his pants and there's a big hole there. kinda funny actually. X: haha.
slept on floors and i'm not used to the idea of having pillows as hard as rocks to sleep on.
_______ was such being such a jerk during camp.

but anyway,

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY GIRLRIEND !

yepp, it was claire's b'day. and everyone in the dining hall were singing her a b'day song :D

FANATIC-

i flipped round and round,
on my bed,
countless thoughts are filling my head,
u my love, without a sound,
follow, follow, like a man's trusty hound.

T&C

2008-06-03T12:20:00.001+08:00

OH ! OH ! guess what ? i'm testing out the new imac my dad bought. WOOHOO :D pretty awesome actually. the fingerings and things like that are all diff.

2008-06-02T14:03:00.003+08:00

i did'nt even sleep a wink last night. was up on the balcony thinking about stuff. that was after talking to I (: gazing at stars :D hoping to read them one day- just like centaurs. had practical today. physics was fun for the first time in my life. girlfriend waited for me. SWEET- waited at the bus stop for all the buses to drive pass us. while WE, were talking laughing our heads off. had my blog un-restricted. however, no tagboard.
going with girlfriend and her mum to chong pang tmr to buy the stuff we need for camp. GEEZ- do they have to put in trackpants ? D: anyway, yesterday was awesome. S and i are fine again. WEETS- after that major quarrel previously, he reconciled with me. it's not worth it to sacrifice 7 yrs of hard core friendship.

well, see ya u lil earthlings !

2008-06-01T21:51:00.002+08:00

so. i'm back again with daily post. and yes ppl. i've UN-RESTRICTED my blog. feels weird having it restricted. feels as if i'm suffocating in a big plastic bag.

YESTERDAY :D

went to the night safari last night. the thing opened at 7.30. and we reached there at like 9 ? thanks to delays along the way. GRRR- my dad's friend's family came along. and yes, there were two annoying lil ppl tagging along too. overall. it was fun ;D did'nt take any photo's though. it was too dark. i love the animal show. especially the lady who was commentaring the entire thing. she was HI-LA-RIOUS ! reached back home at about erm. 1am ?

TODAY :D

had a really nice long sleep. with all the pillows and soft toys smothering me :D just love that furry feeling. nth much today.

oh well, see ya peeps ;D

2008-05-28T22:55:00.005+08:00

TUESDAY
yikes ! i suddenly feel so great about myself, i mean after knowing that i'm not ______X: yesterday's remedial was awesome. and i had a great talk with claire at some bench i never knew exsisted. told her about ______.
bought a long spaghetti striped black top and white shorts :D it's really nice. i'm gonna get heels and another pair of FBT shorts next !

WEDNESDAY
Was supposed to go out with isabel today and it turned out that we did'nt go. bumer huh ?!? i had to stay at home listening to the ipod and texting girlfriend along the way. WOOHOO :D i've SS tmr and i'm still thinking on whether to go.

RANDOMNESS X:
hmmm.. isabel, edwin and i are in the same camp group (: YAY ! i'm gonna have a blast at camp with her. geliang's same group too. and yea. it's gonna be reaaaly interesting :D

TODAY
it's 11.10pm. dad's watching some cycling show. and i'm going to BED :D nighty nights- oh yea, had remedials today. and it's pretty alright. the comprehension that i did was utterly FUN :D honestly ! wonder why too ! haha. gonna get a new book reading schedule. probably borrowing romantic books (: i'm SO in the mood for those now ! so weird of me- EEKS X:

[ MAJORHOTTIEINCOMING ]

2008-05-25T23:10:00.004+08:00

WEETS ! i'm finally done with re-doing my blog and making it private where only myself can only view it :D cool huh ? well, watched INDIANA JONES today and it's pretty awesome except for the last part where the UFO popped out. yuck X: F offered the group sweets. and it was kinda embarrassing- i was the only one who took it. how pathetic huh ?
sometimes, i don't know who my real friend's are. i feel so lost and so not accepted in society. oh well. all i could do is to just hope. it's 11.38 now, and i've got to shut down the comp before my mum starts yelling away. CIAO-

2008-05-23T12:39:00.005+08:00

MONDAY

EEEKS X: long time since i last posted. well, marks were total crap. erm. went to watch narnia with cheesy just the other day. it was bloody cool :D and he was VERY awkwardly dressed- out- got royce chocs after that. which seems to be gone by now especially since there's a hungry choc eater in the house :p work out-

WEDNESDAY

met up claire and cheesy for pastamania and arrived home to watch my fav. show. while they went of to orchard to watch a movie- really had fun talking to them. did'nt know how i could possibly have entertained such a thought at that point. oh well. work out-

FRIDAY

i skipped school today. since it's the last day of sch. AND i was feeling a lil sick. worried about smth that is absolutely impossible. watched movies and talked to mumzies about GSS. having tuition later. maybe work out-

seems nice and hilarious at the same time. i've never seen anyone that shows his personality in just a few sentences. could i be wrong about him ? deep in thought-

-BECAUSEYOULIVE-

2008-05-14T17:29:00.002+08:00

it's been ages since i've been blogging. goodness gracious. exam marks are back. i can't believe it. well, the marks are rubbish. especially chinese. sigh. so hoping to buck up. claire downloaded all the songs into my ipod today. YAY ! thanks girlfriend :D watched iron-man just the other day with my family. went to esplanade and the singapore flyer with some of my uncle's friends. celebrated mother's day :D got her a BIG smth. haha ! ms koh [chem teacher] got posted to AJC. so gonna miss her. i think i'll keep in contact with her (: smth happened last sunday which seriously made me high. well, hope i'll get in contact :D

- i wanna be bad - willa ford -