tears are rolling like beads down my face. i don't know what happened. neither do i know the reason why. i loved her. now, she's gone. forever. how's this possible ? god can't be that unjust. it seems as if someone in the house died. the mood is so down. i had a great day and when i came back, everything happened all so fast. her b'day was just 10 days away. i planned to do smth for her. and now, my efforts went down the drain. i phoned I and i knew it wasn't the right thing to do where u spoil someone's day with your own misery. to make myself feel worst, i even lied. and now, i'm filled with guilt, remorse, anger and anxiety. i miss her. i miss her so much. i'm not even able to give her a token of my appreciation after so many years of us being such close friends. NOT EVEN A SIMPLE GIFT. NOT EVEN ONE ! i loved her so damn much. why ? why ? i want an answer ! just the day before yesterday, i felt terrible. Shawn talked to me and that made myself feel much better. I heard me out, and i'm very grateful to him. it feels as though a burden has been lifted off my back. the worst part was, i thought that, everything would be fine starting from yesterday. however, i spoke too soon. now, this happened. school life will no longer have any meaning without her in it. neither will it be any better at home.
i wish her all the best in future prospects. give her the power to overcome whatever obstacle that comes by her way. smoothen out the gravel path in front of her. make her life easier from now on. she has gone through such a terrible past, and for once, smth good must come by her way. it has too. it must !
-my hands, my keyboard, my shirt, my face. they're all soaked-
[ i'll never forget u. i promise ! ]
