oh screw it. knowing that he's gotten another girl to admire really sucks big time ! now i'm starting to think if he held her hand while crossing the road. this is horrible ): jealousy is kicking in. AAHHHHHHH. i'm feeling crappy right now /: how i wished C never did tell me anything. really wanna punch in those numbers and start screaming. (that's impossible)
first day of school is especially dull. i wonder why (?) Wimi's b'day just passed and she got this big bottle of jelly beans as a present. happy belated b'day dear (: it was a joy to see claire again. and and, manu brought home her first boyfriend !! that's fab (: i'm honestly hoping to catch the transformers movie with charles this weekend. (fingers crossed). hope he's not busy with admission. i've FINALLY being able to know someone who has done free lance photographing. woo ! awesome, awesome, awesome. and another three times as awesome if i'll be able to do it.
i'm happy that it's still around your neck.
i call it a whirlwind weekend.
i've frequently been visiting the video rental shop these few days. watched like god knows how many movies. is this just my method of killing off anguish ? just watched final destination + hitman today. loved the actor's bald head. i practically skipped the transformers movie and now there's a wasted ticket that i've to pay for !? hope they found a replacement in time.
yesterday was supposedly my last tuition. (up till the time when THEY find me worthy enough) oh screw it. i honestly can't be bothered by their frequent demands. i'm currently looking at how sweet this guy was at having valentine's day all planned out for his gf. he even had a delivery made at her doorstep !? (with voice recordings !)
THAT IS IT !!! I'M FUCKING GONNA MARRY MY NEXT BOYFRIEND.
I'M GONNA LEARN HOW TO PLAY THE GUITAR AND PERHAPS SERENADE FOR HIM !
I'M GONNA LEARN PHOTOGRAPHY, AND CAPTURE THAT VERY MOMENT WHICH MATTERS THE MOST !
IF NOT ! I'M SERIOUSLY GOING TO WAIL UNDER THE BLANKET TILL THE SUN RISES !
I WANT TO SAY THAT I HAVE A SIZZLING HOT BOYFRIEND, EVEN SO, IT WOULD LEAD TO NEVER ENDING INSECURITIES, BUT HEY ! IT'S A RISK THAT I'VE GOT TO TAKE !
AND THAT AIN'T GOOD...
I'M GONNA WAIT FOR THE ONE WHO WOULD KILL HIS PRIDE AND EGO JUST FOR ME.
BUT TILL THEN, IT'S MAKEOVER PERIOD. I'LL PROVE MYSELF WRONG.
I'M GONNA CHANGE BEFORE THAT GUY COMES ALONG, WITH THE VERY WORDS THAT I WANT TO HEAR.
THIS IS IT ! DANG !
all this is my fault. and it's time i took my life into my hands and clear up all this mess. i've locked up everything else, and i'm sure that i'll be able to live my life for a proper cause now.
as they always say, 'live life to it's fullest'
IT'S TIME.
damn this feeling. the moment u have it, u lose it. the moment u want it, u don't want it anymore. what's up with me ? 'are u always this emotional'-(a question that was posted just for me). there's so much to life than just about one thing. well said, i know. but what the fuck am i suppose to do at this point ? all i've been doing are just mistakes- i just read a friend's blog and it turned out that his situation is exactly the same as mine, except for the fact that he's a guy and he's STILL in a relationship. and he's coping so well with it ! that's the part that gets me. perhaps it's just the age difference. whatever..
if getting dumped is hell, i think this is much more than hell. could someone help fast forward my life to another 2 more years ? the WORST part of it all, i've screwed up a friend ! is this retribution, or is it just me making the wrong decisions, as always ? i fucking wanna know.
oh boy, i hope time could just freeze.
damn, i've to go to school tmr just to do filing ! hope there's smth exciting that's gonna be waiting for me in the later part of the day. congrats to baby for being chosen to be in the photoshoot (: extremely proud of u babe.
friday-went out with clifton to watch 'drag me to hell'. susie backed out half-way /: the movie is bloody sucky. i didn't know that it could be rated so high with such a stupid ending(?). those critics ought to be sued ! tuition was actually suppose to be at 5pm which i mistook it to be 5.30pm. damn the short term memory. had dinner with shaun at pizza hut afterwards.
saturday-baby went for camp that day. there was a display of fireworks near northpoint. perhaps it's the starting/ending of the arts festival. was out with shaun till late. gee, he's been an awesome friend (: had to wait for baby's call till 1 in the morning !? oh well.
sunday-(SOMETHING GOOD AT THE END OF EVERY WRONG TURN)woo ! it's been a long long time since i went out with baby to town. so today was seriously refreshing. going to town was not even planned out in the itenary, but i'm glad that we still went. ate smth from a certain place whose food i've never tasted, and man does it taste good. i was this close to ask him to carry me after all the walking in the day (: spent a long long long time for him to try out clothes, but thank god ! he got smth in the end. godiva chocs was supposedly a celebration material, hee (with smiles). was thinking more of beer ? it was definitely a day to remember. things finally fell into place and the feeling feels good. i know for sure now that it's gonna go a long way. and i'm proud of myself for not losing hope. he still owes me another fruitful day ! (: after a long day, every girl deserves her beauty sleep. waiting for his 3am call to come in the mean time too- oh please make time fly (:
i love you babe.
woo ! things happen just so fast ! and all i needed to do was to evaluate carefully. well, 5th of june was girlfriend's b'day !!! 30th of may was clifton's b'day !!! i haven't even gotten each of them a present yet. slept over at claire's house on wednesday. it was a 'tense-down' time. how much i love her, unimaginable.. watched late night movies (21,bedtime stories).shopping was thursday-
warehouse, riverisland, topshop, dorothy perkins, city hall. i can't imagine that smth such as recycled snake skin would actually catch my eye. damn, should have bought it. gf and i were basically giggling about a particular store assistant. it was fun (: jason and gary met up with us later on. completely no photos were taken- too busy caught with shopping fever i guess(?) tuition was later. friday-night time was cool. as in the weather. heh. F called, and we broke the record of talking for the longest time on the phone ! being able to see his other side was a refreshing start. tuition was awesome. the tutor kept commenting on how much she wanted to buy the exact same pair of earings as mine. so, the entire time was girl talk EVEN THOUGH there was a guy there.east coast- (yesterday)went to old town white coffee for dinner. the white coffee mocha there was great. i'll die to have another one right now. there was a sale for dresses outside and i've never seen such exquisite ones before, so, $$ started to fly again. started walking on the beach and the air there was breezy. can't believe i'm moving there soon. there were two white dogs who came my way and the owner allowed me to walk them. gee, i wish i had the exact same one. there was a live band playing at that time so ppl started dancing on the beach, including my parents. having someone ask me to dance was weirddddd, so, the only obvious thing to do was to turn down the offer. regretted later though /: a weird feeling overcame me when i was there. the feeling of being alive. after reaching home, we played monopoly till 1 am. the best time that i ever had with my family was this. talked to my brother till 4. i never expected that the only person who knows me the best turned out to be my brother. gee, i love him. and in the middle of the conversation, a very unexpected call came in. and i'm happy that he has taken a first step in clearing things out.
had an outing with susie yesterday :) was the first outing that i laughed so much !! walked for 7 hours and practically took an hr just to choose a pair of earings from a small collection ! had blisters everywhere and got VERY lost. gee. there's still a wooden splinter stuck in my skin(trying to get wooden chopsticks out of the plastic) /: we were laughing so loudly that everyone looked at us wherever we went ! there was this reporter at the esplanade who asked us to pose for a picture for newpaper and the picture was so so pretty. i think i should start buying newpaper from today onwards. hee. some guy took up 10 mins of our time advertising on a new pub at the esplanade and blah blah. basically, the ending was such that he was persuading us to buy an entry pass for the pub. what a sucker for wasted time. slept at 2, i guess it must have been the mocha's fault (:
