kill this feeling in me.
the first glance made my heart beat,
consecutive glances made it wilder than ever.
it's a shortgun fire directed at my heart.
by the look that u gave me,
i know, then and there that i will never regret going.
goodbye, my black night.
even if it takes 7 years,
that day will come.
"and it doesn't seem to matter,
and it doesn't seem right,
'cause the will has brought
no fortune.
still i cry alone at night,
don't you judge of my composure,
'cause i'm lying to myself.
and the reason why she left me,
did she find someone else ?"
writing suddenly became a joy to me after seeing what wonderful essays u can write on random words such as; love, cows, books. i barely even feel jaded after god knows how many years of writing essays.
it's kind of freaky that all the tracks i'm listening to now are solely MJ's songs. i'm feeling a little apprehensive about my mental health now. others just doesn't seem to hit up to my expectations of 'good music', as so my theory states. i guess it's good news for him if he's up there knowing that all the little people living on earth are listening to his songs excessively now(not that there wasn't previously). dying doesn't seem like such a bad thing after all.
i had always hated school on mondays due to monday blues. however, the blues seemed to have gotten rid of itself after the new change in timetable, which is indeed very shocking.
i absolutely, incorrigibly hate source based questions. it feels like you're squeezing out all the brain juice after having already squeezed them to the max for good quality work for the other subjects during the day. having to think so much just for a simple opening sentence (?), horrible !
the skin on my fingertips are 1. peeling, 2. growing back, 3. hardening, and it goes back to (1) again. i can hardly feel my fingertips, they're numb to the slightest touch. if this is the sacrifice that has to be made for the love of playing, hmm, i guess i can consider about not quitting the daily routine of practice. besides, it's not that bad right ? well, of course excluding the fact of what a horrible time my next boyfriend is going to have by having dead skin touching the back of his hand if i were to convulsively clutch it. it's irksome just by the thought of it.
skipping two days of school next week is definitely a bonus for having relatives who live off the coast of singapore. i hope the next few days in singapore will be spent productively. that brother of mine isn't going, which means i have the entire backseat of the car to myself. that also means that they'll be place for a big teddy bear as company since there won't be any provided to me along the 4 hour ride(?) by the way, that big bear is named tristan junior, limited editioned-ly named after the person who bought it for me. i bet it's going to be a hell long ride, especially since i'm going to start firing the conventional, 'are we there yet !?' question. the house that i'm staying at has cardboard boxes that are stacked all the way up to the top of the ceiling, half eaten doors, cobwebs stretching from one end to the other, creaking staircase steps and creaking sounds at the hinges of the door. well, it does sound like a haunted house. however, this intro proves otherwise. it's a home for termites, to be short. i must remember to bring a bottle of insect spray. no one now is of any position to be intrigued of knowing more is there ?
i think it's a desirable length for reading, so i guess i should probably stop at around now. i swear the trip is going to be a day in hell for the two people sitting at the front seat of the car. the emotion on their usually expressionless face is sure to show it all. i'm going to say hello to the peeling skin process again.
good night and sleep tight you small earhtly hobbits.
dang ! it's the second time i'm eating mcdonalds after, let's see, 2 MONTHS !? it's completely ridiculous and outrageous. the weekly pocket money just decreased by half in just an hr. the best part of this was that the full-of-fats chicken that was dangling in the air laid in the place it once came from; death bed. oil was leaking out like nobody's business and OMG, i swear i can never stomach it again.
SPA went extremely well, 'aleluia', praise the lord. how i wish i can be that lucky twice in a row. oh, i surely need a miracle tomorrow. should i borrow fairy magic, a wizard's wand or perhaps start kneeling down with two perfectly poised hands placed together ?
if i'd actually opened my mouth in my earlier part of youth and start blabbering english-chinese words, this episode wouldn't have been this scary. i'm screwed, so so screwed.
clifton: how's life, register no. 9 ?
clarice: well, excluding the fact that i'm screwed for chinese, all's well, register no. 10.
i never knew that such structures could actually be captured by me. well, yea, it's blown out of proportion.
I FOUND MY CONFIRMATION SLIP !? gee, after this long, and i finally found it ? what a day. well, chinese o level orals are on friday and i'm scared out of my wits ! even chanraj can speak much much more fluently as compared to myself. seriously, i should stop, it's only going to scare the shit out of me ! it's SPA skill 3 tmr and to be frank, i'm not even the least prepared. (fingers crossed)
i missed the memorial for MJ this morning ): it sucks, sucks and three times more sucky. i officially started on a new book in which i'm absolutely captivated by - not many books have my undivided attention u see. it can almost top 'the list'. life is indeed becoming more and more interesting.
the black hatred that i have for you has taken on almost as great a depth as my sixteen-year existence on this very earth that both u and i stand on. live on and perhaps u'll see a teeny weeny bit more than what is expected of you to.
i feel like shit knowing that MJ died /: michael, michael, michael... what can i say ? well, a thousand and one words. he's the greatest person in the history of music. i don't care what he look likes, how he changes his face, his P actions, i would love him equally as much. i grew up listening to his songs which turn out to be great hits. the world's greatest performer, writer and dancer left us too early. he even created dance moves that are modified by modern day artists. his songs crossed the boundaries of religion, race and age. who's going to heal the world now ? every song he sings has a message to it. he certainly is a great man. he can never ever be duplicated. i can do no tribute, but at the very least, i will listen to every single one of his songs ! MJ, i love you.
the first week of school is extremely relaxing. there were at least 4 free periods every day ! i wish that could be the situation every day. i've to make clifton wait 15 mins almost every single time, and i feel awful about it /: well, thanks for being such a dear (: the new P.E. teacher certainly has a body figure that could make every cow go 'moo !' HAHA ! the point taken in is that she's hot :)
went to dempsey road to eat at jumbo. the prawns, jelly fish and crab there was awesome. (pricey !!) my dad's decided to lay of curry. it means no more sammy's for me.
it's youth day today. spent the entire day with isabel. it was FUN FUN FUN ! the ending of the show wasn't smth that i expected. but it was good enough. (i guess) taught her how to tie ribbons and it took LOOONNNG.
dinner calls- TOODLES (:
sending that msg made me feel good; because i know u deserve it. next time, get your facts right first.
i never knew that such structures could actually be captured by me. well, yea, it's blown out of proportion.
I FOUND MY CONFIRMATION SLIP !? gee, after this long, and i finally found it ? what a day. well, chinese o level orals are on friday and i'm scared out of my wits ! even chanraj can speak much much more fluently as compared to myself. seriously, i should stop, it's only going to scare the shit out of me ! it's SPA skill 3 tmr and to be frank, i'm not even the least prepared. (fingers crossed)