"and it doesn't seem to matter, 

and it doesn't seem right,

'cause the will has brought

no fortune.

still i cry alone at night, 

don't you judge of my composure,

'cause i'm lying to myself.

and the reason why she left me, 

did she find someone else ?"

it's kind of freaky that all the tracks i'm listening to now are solely MJ's songs. i'm feeling a little apprehensive about my mental health now. others just doesn't seem to hit up to my expectations of 'good music', as so my theory states. i guess it's good news for him if he's up there knowing that all the little people living on earth are listening to his songs excessively now(not that there wasn't previously). dying doesn't seem like such a bad thing after all.

i had always hated school on mondays due to monday blues. however, the blues seemed to have gotten rid of itself after the new change in timetable, which is indeed very shocking. 

i absolutely, incorrigibly hate source based questions. it feels like you're squeezing out all the brain juice after having already squeezed them to the max for good quality work for the other subjects during the day.  having to think so much just for a simple opening sentence (?), horrible !

the skin on my fingertips are 1. peeling, 2. growing back, 3. hardening, and it goes back to (1) again. i can hardly feel my fingertips, they're numb to the slightest touch. if this is the sacrifice that has to be made for the love of playing, hmm, i guess i can consider about not quitting the daily routine of practice. besides, it's not that bad right ? well, of course excluding the fact of what a horrible time my next boyfriend is going to have by having dead skin touching the back of his hand if i were to convulsively clutch it. it's irksome just by the thought of it.

skipping two days of school next week is definitely a bonus for having relatives who live off the coast of singapore.  i hope the next few days in singapore will be spent productively. that brother of mine isn't going, which means i have the entire backseat of the car to myself. that also means that they'll be place for a big teddy bear as company since there won't be any provided to me along the 4 hour ride(?) by the way, that big bear is named tristan junior, limited editioned-ly named after the person who bought it for me. i bet it's going to be a hell long ride, especially since i'm going to start firing the conventional, 'are we there yet !?' question. the house that i'm staying at has cardboard boxes that are stacked all the way up to the top of the ceiling, half eaten doors, cobwebs stretching from one end to the other, creaking staircase steps and creaking sounds at the hinges of the door. well, it does sound like a haunted house. however, this intro proves otherwise. it's a home for termites, to be short. i must remember to bring a bottle of insect spray. no one now is of any position to be intrigued of knowing more is there ?

i think it's a desirable length for reading, so i guess i should probably stop at around now. i swear the trip is going to be a day in hell for the two people sitting at the front seat of the car. the emotion on their usually expressionless face is sure to show it all. i'm going to say hello to the peeling skin process again.

good night and sleep tight you small earhtly hobbits.